The end of the day.

Merry Belated Christmas!

I'm just living the life right now. Just finished some yoga, have my cup of herbal tea and watching Friends. :)

It was my first Christmas as a Whitear! We have had so many firsts over the last year and it has been amazing. I never imagined I could find someone who accepts every little tiny thing about me -- good and bad -- and still loves me more each day. It was what I had always hoped for in a husband. He calls me beautiful even when I haven't showered and my hair is a mess and I have no makeup on. THAT is true love, my friends!

We traveled a lot this year, wedding included, and because of that, we didn't really have the finances to travel yet again for Christmas. So, we just stayed here at home in Rexburg. We didn't have money for gifts or anything either but we had each other. We put up a baby tree that sits on our dining room tabletop and we hung our stockings by the chimney front door with care. I hid some Reeses cups until Ryan went to sleep and put them in his stocking for Christmas morning. He made me breakfast in bed on Christmas Eve morning and also did the laundry (without me asking!!) and cleaned up around the house for me. It was so simple, but it was a wonderful Christmas. I missed my family, and he missed his, but we had each other, so it wasn't so bad. In fact, it was perfect.

The last few weeks have had some challenges (to say the least). We got our cleaning business off the ground (think: "hardest week of my life") and Ryan ran into a major bump in the road with his Spanish class (think: "um, I didn't realize that part of the course was graded....whoops"). Here is what I've realized about begin married: When you have a good marriage, it makes the sucky things suck less. The week we were cleaning was the most stressful week I have endured in a loooonnnnggggg time. By Saturday, I was emotionally holding myself together with a shaving of a toothpick. Then, the toothpick snapped and I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried........



and cried.......



and cried......


But then Ryan was there the whole time. He held me. He comforted me. He consoled me. Then he let me go to Chinese food for dinner (his least favorite type of food, my most favorite type of food) and then took me to a movie and we got extra butter on the popcorn. In essence, I ate through the emotions. No, that wasn't really what happened...but you see the moral of the story. That day sucked. It sucked worse than a day has sucked in a long time; however, my husband was there to see me through it. That made it easier to deal with in the long run.

Ryan is going through some stuff with the school right now because of his Spanish grade and he might have to take a year off. This would also mean he would lose his job. I know deep down he is really stressing about this. He has shown it too. But, I know that me being there for him has helped it suck less. (I sure have used the word "suck" a lot in this post...)

I'm no marriage expert. I don't claim to be. But if I may offer advice, I will offer this: marry your best friend. Marry the man who thinks you're beautiful in your sweats and no makeup. Marry a man who thinks you're worth everything. Marry the man who will listen to you to the best of his ability and who tries to be a better man just because he thinks he doesn't deserve you (and make sure the feeling is mutual on your end). Marry someone who can make decisions without you but wants you to help and values your opinion. Marry someone who accepts you with all of your flaws. Marry someone who wants to tell you about his day and share his life with you.

I wonder if one of these days I'll stop going on and on about marriage. I imagine that will happen when I have kids and start talking about them all the time. :)

2012 is less than one week away. This year has FLOWN by. I wish you the best in your new year.

Our new years goal? We are not eating out for any meals unless it is for a birthday, anniversary or very notable special occasion.

My personal goal? To become more consistent with my yoga practice and fit into the stack of jeans under my bed that I got to fat for this year by the end of next year. I don't care about being skinny. I just want to fit in my dang clothes again!!! :)

Chaos and Eat. Pray. Love.

The last five days have been CHAOS. Absolute. chaos.

I decided to start a business. Had I told you that yet? I tried it last year but it just wasn't right. I decided to give it a whirl again this year. Boy, was it hard work. I worked harder on this than I've ever worked before. It was insane.

ProClean Services is the name of our business. It's a cleaning service for apartment complexes. With 15k students and 75% of them have clean checks every two weeks and then a "white glove" at the end of each semester, it is a potentially lucrative business. Also, with new apartment complexes going up all over Rexburg, it just seemed smart. First, I tried going to some apartment communities to work directly with them but as it was almost mid semester, they all had cleaning contractors lined up. So, we had the idea to knock door to door and try to get some students signed up so we could at least get our name out there. We had almost 200 signups in three weeks!!!! I was swamped; however, the idea of turning down business wasn't in my thoughts so we just kept plugging. I was working all day, often until the wee hours of the morning, for a week before the cleaning even began. At the last minute we hired a 7th person to handle the extra business. It was all going right along!

Then one of our cleaners quit before we even began cleaning. Then another one quit in the middle of a job. So, I went to finish the job myself. The next day went okay, just incredibly busy. Then, I got a call from a manager that we could not come on Monday, but instead, had to find a way to complete all of our jobs at their community BEFORE noon the NEXT day. How was I supposed to do that!?!?!?! So, I did my best to rally up some random folks who were willing to help (paid of course) and we go most of it kind of done...not up to my expectations, but at least we tried. That pushed us all back the next day two hours and we were at crunch time. Then, we were approached by a man claiming to work for the Idaho Industrial Commission who was taking pictures of us because we "were under investigation for non-compliance". It was actually the owner of my main competitor here in town - his name is Niel...and he owns a company much like ours called Idaho White Glove. He's not a very nice man to say the least. Anywho, I was so tired and so frustrated with how the course of the last 24 hours had gone that when he showed up and started getting in my face, I pretty much lost every ounce of composure I had managed to hang on to. I was surprised I hadn't broken down before then, but boy did I break down. I cried, and cried and cried and cried. It was B-A-D. I just felt so deflated and defeated, so beat down. I was tired and so emotional. However, my wonderful husband took care of me and let me have Chinese food and took me to a movie. It was just what I needed. It took my mind off all of the ridiculousness that had just occurred and let me unwind. The next day was indeed a day of rest for me and I was so grateful for it. Yesterday and today were slow and steady and we are finally done for the semester. We have decided to give it a go at least one more semester, but we learned a lot for our next endeavor. We are grateful for our little business. It makes us both feel like we have something to call our own that we do together.

So now, my car looks like a cleaning supply room and I think I finally have the house semi back in order. It's a work in progress.

It's our first Christmas together. Tomorrow we will celebrate two months as husband and wife! I cannot believe how time has flown by. We will be together a year in just a few weeks. I am so grateful for Ryan. He is so sweet and wonderful to me. He makes me laugh more than anyone else in this whole world.

Now it's back to normal pace. Le sigh.

I am watching the movie Eat Pray Love right now and sipping on a cup of freshly brewed herbal "fruit tisane" that my Dad got me for Christmas. This movie always puts me in perspective. There are stages of life. Eating, Praying and Loving all represent a part of us that we must balance with the other. Eating represents the indulgence and carefree side to life, prayer is the spirituality within us all, and love...well, that's something that we all wish for and some of the lucky ones have. Love, though, doesn't just represent love between two people who are IN love, but rather being full of love and service towards those around us. We have to find a balance in all of those things.

I am trying to do that for myself. I wish you all balance and peace in your life. It is finding that balance that I think joy follows. We have to indulge sometimes, we must keep our spirit in tune, and we love. There is a great quote in this movie that I love -- "God dwells within us". I believe this with all of my heart. He is a part of us and it is when we tap into that part that we find Him.

Merry Christmas. May we all remember why we celebrate this season and what Christ represents. He is the eternal symbol of peace, joy and love. He is a symbol of sacrifice and service.

Love,

Courtney