To be or not to be....a college graduate.

Now, before you assume what my answer is to this question -- let me allow you in to the fact that I really haven't the slightest idea. I'm writing this mainly to help my brain maybe have a surge of enlightenment.

A college education is considered "important" in modern day society and most well paid jobs are rare without one. I understand this. If you want to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or even have a slightly better salary at whatever job you choose, a college degree will get you there.

If you know me well, then you probably know one of my (I feel) largest flaws is my fickle nature. I change my mind. I do that because I have a hard time sticking with a decision. Maybe I am a "grass is greener" girl? I don't doubt it a little. My experience with how I found the LDS church could actually show a bit of my nature. I was seeking a final answer on religion. What is THE church that Christ looks at says, "That is my Church and it is led by people that I speak to". So maybe I'm an absolutist (is that a word? If not, it is now!) I want to know the answers to questions. The right answers. I like to know things. I'm sure my childhood friends can attest to the fact that I've always been a bit of a know-it-all. It is a blessing and curse, I assure you.

But with life in general, there are very little solid, right and true answers. Although, God does provide us with absolutes, but if you don't believe in God...where do you get your choices? There are so many choices. And those choices all have consequences, whether good or bad. At the end of the day, I think I would rather have someone tell me what the right answer is, instead of guessing and hoping that it doesn't flop. That's where the college education comes in. Am I spending thousands of dollars of mine (and other's) money for nothing? Do I really need the piece of paper? I only have a year or year and a half left of school, so I know it would be really dumb to stop now, but on the same token, would it really be that dumb? Won't college always be there if I need it to be? Am I not credible without it?

I've always been one to take my own path, and that path has taken me some interesting places. As things naturally take their course, aren't we supposed to do what makes us the healthiest and happiest? I like to be in charge. I like to take care of people. I like to be needed but not depended on. The older I get the more I realize I have more to learn. I don't know it all, but I do depend on God's inspiration and instruction on where to find the right answers.

So, I know the piece of paper for me is more about finishing something that I started. But the question still remains...is being a college graduate essential in our society for success? According to an article in the NY times:

"Last year, 33.5 percent of Americans ages 25 to 29 had at least a bachelor’s degree, compared with 24.7 percent in 1995, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. In 1975, the share was 21.9 percent. The number of two-year college degrees, master’s degrees and doctorates has also risen recently." 

That still leaves well over the majority of American's without one. In an article by Huff Post, it gives us a list of 11 successful people who never graduate college. You might find some of these interesting. 

1. Rachael Ray
2. John D. Rockefeller
3. Simon Cowell
4. Abraham Lincoln
5. Julie Andrews
6. Michael J. Fox
7. Sean Connery
8. Wolfgang Puck
9. Walt Disney
10. Dave Thomas
11. Halle Berry

Sidenote: Here are a couple of other major ones - Bill Gates and Steve Jobs

I don't really count anyone in show business as someone who gets big props for never going to college...and the list of actors and musicians who dropped out of college are long. So, in my case, maybe I didn't need college and my money might have been better spent on a really good private teacher. You don't need a college degree to be famous. The people on this list who aren't professional actors or singers are above and beyond in their fields. Bill Gates didn't graduate from college, but I bet most of the people who work for him did. True leaders, like Lincoln and Disney, are born that way. But for those who want to enter the workforce in a traditional environment, the college experience is ideal. My experience at a large state university proved to be a lot of late nights and not a whole lot of actual studying. It was more about being away from home and less about learning and growing. However, my second go at college has proved much different. I was also much older. It has been about truly learning...and learning how to overcome obstacles more than anything. Online universities and opportunities for adults to go to school while they are working full time have allowed more to obtain higher education.

So the question...to be or not to be a college graduate? My answer: Be one. 

Unless you're really really really smart and inventive or exceptionally talented and driven. In that case...you probably don't need one. 

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

I was physically nauseous this morning reading posts from various friends about their opinions on Obamacare being passed. Is it just me, or do things seem to be getting more and more ridiculous? Everyone seems to have an opinion. Well, I guess here's mine!

I was raised in the Statehouse of Indiana around politicians. I'm the daughter of a retired law enforcement Lieutenant. The government and it's actions have always had a direct effect on my family. My mother was a republican and my father has mostly swayed democrat. This doesn't make me smarter than the next guy. All it means is that somehow, politics seeped into my blood. Politicians are supposed to stand for the people they represent. I am starting to get the feeling that's not the case these days!

Also, let me express the fact that my first goal in life is to try and be fair and just. I don't judge or dislike anyone based on their religion, race, sexuality, handicap etc. I think many of my friends can back me up on this. I'm a fairly tolerant person.

But enough is enough, people. Obamacare isn't even the issue. The fact that the intention behind Obamacare means "better" or "more" healthcare for the poor also isn't the issue.
But if we're going to talk about Obamacare...let's talk about it. Providing free healthcare should not be the government's job. It should also not be the government's job to feed you, shelter you and clothe you. What is fair for the government to do is assist Americans with the tools they need to be successful. Funding things that help people grow - like education costs or funding non-profits that assist the needy. I know! Why don't we mandate that everyone has to get a college degree or at least a Diploma and the government has to pay for that. If you don't get a HS diploma than your parents will be taxed. If you don't get a college degree then you will be taxed! You don't like that idea? Well, it's just about as ridiculous as mandating that everyone has to have insurance or be penalized for it. It takes away an element of personal freedom. The issue is freedom and it's place in our society. 


Freedom doesn't mean you should be able to "do whatever you want".  It also definitely does not mean if you're poor the government has an obligation to help you. It means you have a CHOICE to decide what you want to do with your life. It doesn't mean your choice is free from consequence, whether positive or negative. 

I grew up poor. I grew up in a single parent home with a father who, luckily, always paid child support and a mother who fought between trying to take care of me and take care of herself. We went without hot water sometimes. We ate ham and pickles for dinner a time or two. We spent a few years living in a really crappy neighborhood. My neighbors across the street were drug dealers. We even had food stamps some times. But my mom wasn't raised poor...in fact, she was raised the opposite. And as no reflection on the love I have for either my parents or their parents, my mom chose to be irresponsible with her money. Those choices meant we sometimes went without essentials. She was a smart, capable woman. She caught a tough break and the choices she made after that led to some crappy consequences. I was still loved and care for...which is why I feel like I'm a fairly adjusted person, but I struggle with balancing a budget for myself sometimes. Why? I could assume it is because I never really learned how to live within my means when I was a child. Even when we were poor and I went without, I don't really remember being told no very often.  I also lived as a teenager in the era where pagers (remember those!?), cell phones and the internet were just getting their edge. Entitlement became more and more a part of my generation. We are all a product of the choices we make and the way we are taught.

However, as a nation, we are the product of the choices our leaders make. We must not take this so lightly. We shouldn't like a President because he's cool, or because he's bi-racial, or because he supports gay marriage or because he's atheist, Christian, Buddhist, or a Texan. We shouldn't dislike a President for the same reasons.

At the end of the day, we need to look out for each other and be better neighbors. We need to be financially responsible OURSELVES. If we are ill, then we need to find a way to get better. Medicine is not the end all, say all of our health. Heck, a good dose of better sleep, healthy food, exercise and lots of water can remedy a lot! If the government really wants to help, then wouldn't it be smarter to invest money in people who want to fulfill their own pursuits of life and liberty by giving more grants and funding to mental health facilities, the arts, real food incentives and non-profit organizations? Why in the world would it be a good idea to make it mandatory for everyone to have health insurance? It only means that someone else has to pay for someone who can't afford it. Our children think they are entitled to everything before they hit puberty. How does this help? Americans think they are entitled to everything before they've worked hard to get it. Why is that? Because our leaders have allowed us to think that we are all entitled to the "American Dream" without having to really work for it.

As a Christian, I believe we are all created in the image of God and have the ability to love and be kind because of that. I also believe we are a fallen, mortal creature who has tendencies opposite to the ideal image of God and perfection. So, even as children of God, men are not born equal. And if you don't believe in God, then you probably would think this already. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We all have challenges. Some of us are born Mozarts, Einsteins and Edisons. Most of us aren't! Some of us are taught to be angry, some of us are abused. We are the victims of other's freedoms until we are old enough to say or think differently. Someone has to be the janitor and someone has to be the CEO. We keep trying to make everyone "equal". I agree, we should be fair to everyone who is human and we should have the same rights as everyone else because we are human. But when did we start to blur the line with having rights and just having? We need less Veruca Salts and more Charlie Buckets in this world.

I digress....I could go on forever.

(Don't even get me started on how the government officially declared pizza and ketchup as VEGETABLES so they could be considered healthy lunches for kids in public schools.)

Let the discussion commence.

Peace.

I have felt very restless lately, very unsettled, very confused.

Here are some things I needed to hear:

Like those who were alive at the time of His mortal ministry, there are some among us who look for physical peace and prosperity as signs of the Savior’s wondrous power. We sometimes fail to understand that the everlasting peace Jesus promises is an inner peace, born in faith, anchored by testimony, nurtured with love, and expressed through continual obedience and repentance. It is a peace of spirit that echoes through the heart and the soul. If one truly knows and experiences this inner peace, there is no fear from worldly disharmony or discord. One knows deep down inside that all is well as far as the things that really matter are concerned. - M. Russell Ballard

Peace—real peace, whole-souled to the very core of your being—comes only in and through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. When that precious truth is discovered and gospel principles are understood and applied, great peace can distill in the hearts and souls of our Heavenly Father’s children. Said the Savior through Joseph Smith, “He who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come” (D&C 59:23).

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console;

To be understood as to understand;

To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

• • 
  “Agree with thine adversary” (Matt. 5:25).
• • 
  “Love your enemies” (Matt. 5:44).
• • 
  “Judge not” (Matt. 7:1).
• • 
  “Love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matt. 22:39).
• • 
  “Condemn not” (Luke 6:37).
• • 
  “Forgive” (Luke 6:37).
• • 
  “Love one another” (John 13:34).

True personal peace comes about through eternal vigilance and constant righteous efforts. No man can be at peace who is untrue to his better self. No man can have lasting peace who is living a lie. Peace can never come to the transgressor of the law. Commitment to God’s laws is the basis forpeace. Peace is something we earn. It is not a gift. Rather, it is a possession earned by those who love God and work to achieve the blessings of peace. It is not a written document. It is something that must come from within.

 “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but a triumph of principles.” (“Self-Reliance,” in Ralph Waldo Emerson: Essays and Lectures, New York: The Library of America, 1983, p. 282.)

True peace must not be dependent upon conditions or happenings. Peacemust stem from an inward contentment built upon trust, faith, and goodwill toward God, fellowmen, and self. It must be constantly nurtured by the individual who is soundly anchored to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Only then can a person realize that the trials and tribulations of daily life are less important than God’s total goodness.

Lasting peace is an eternal personal quest. Peace does come from obedience to the law. Peace comes to those who develop character and trust.

No peace will be lasting unless it is built upon the solid foundation of eternal principles such as love of God, love of neighbor, and love of self. Those who love their neighbors can bring peace and happiness to many. Love can build bridges to understanding and tear down walls of suspicion and hate. Christlike love can bring peace into any neighborhood. With that kind of love each of us can help resolve petty differences, be they in the home or community.

When we properly blend into our lives true principles of love, honesty, respect, character, faith, and patience, peace will become our priceless possession. Peace is a triumph of correct principles.

Edna St. Vincent Millay said: “There is no peace on earth today, save the peace in the heart at home with God. … No man can be at peace with his neighbor who is not atpeace with himself. …” (“Conversations at Midnight,” Collected Poems,Harper & Row, Copyright 1937 and 1964.)

A key to peace, then, is service. Christ said: “But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.” 

(Matt. 23:11.)

The Lord has said: “For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” (Moses 1:39.)

If each person would have peace within his soul, then there would bepeace in the family. If there is peace in each family, then there is peace in the nation. If there is peace in the nations, there is peace in the world.

Homemade Tortilla Chips

Check out a new entry on www.naturallygoodbycourtney.blogspot.com!

The end of the day.

Merry Belated Christmas!

I'm just living the life right now. Just finished some yoga, have my cup of herbal tea and watching Friends. :)

It was my first Christmas as a Whitear! We have had so many firsts over the last year and it has been amazing. I never imagined I could find someone who accepts every little tiny thing about me -- good and bad -- and still loves me more each day. It was what I had always hoped for in a husband. He calls me beautiful even when I haven't showered and my hair is a mess and I have no makeup on. THAT is true love, my friends!

We traveled a lot this year, wedding included, and because of that, we didn't really have the finances to travel yet again for Christmas. So, we just stayed here at home in Rexburg. We didn't have money for gifts or anything either but we had each other. We put up a baby tree that sits on our dining room tabletop and we hung our stockings by the chimney front door with care. I hid some Reeses cups until Ryan went to sleep and put them in his stocking for Christmas morning. He made me breakfast in bed on Christmas Eve morning and also did the laundry (without me asking!!) and cleaned up around the house for me. It was so simple, but it was a wonderful Christmas. I missed my family, and he missed his, but we had each other, so it wasn't so bad. In fact, it was perfect.

The last few weeks have had some challenges (to say the least). We got our cleaning business off the ground (think: "hardest week of my life") and Ryan ran into a major bump in the road with his Spanish class (think: "um, I didn't realize that part of the course was graded....whoops"). Here is what I've realized about begin married: When you have a good marriage, it makes the sucky things suck less. The week we were cleaning was the most stressful week I have endured in a loooonnnnggggg time. By Saturday, I was emotionally holding myself together with a shaving of a toothpick. Then, the toothpick snapped and I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried........



and cried.......



and cried......


But then Ryan was there the whole time. He held me. He comforted me. He consoled me. Then he let me go to Chinese food for dinner (his least favorite type of food, my most favorite type of food) and then took me to a movie and we got extra butter on the popcorn. In essence, I ate through the emotions. No, that wasn't really what happened...but you see the moral of the story. That day sucked. It sucked worse than a day has sucked in a long time; however, my husband was there to see me through it. That made it easier to deal with in the long run.

Ryan is going through some stuff with the school right now because of his Spanish grade and he might have to take a year off. This would also mean he would lose his job. I know deep down he is really stressing about this. He has shown it too. But, I know that me being there for him has helped it suck less. (I sure have used the word "suck" a lot in this post...)

I'm no marriage expert. I don't claim to be. But if I may offer advice, I will offer this: marry your best friend. Marry the man who thinks you're beautiful in your sweats and no makeup. Marry a man who thinks you're worth everything. Marry the man who will listen to you to the best of his ability and who tries to be a better man just because he thinks he doesn't deserve you (and make sure the feeling is mutual on your end). Marry someone who can make decisions without you but wants you to help and values your opinion. Marry someone who accepts you with all of your flaws. Marry someone who wants to tell you about his day and share his life with you.

I wonder if one of these days I'll stop going on and on about marriage. I imagine that will happen when I have kids and start talking about them all the time. :)

2012 is less than one week away. This year has FLOWN by. I wish you the best in your new year.

Our new years goal? We are not eating out for any meals unless it is for a birthday, anniversary or very notable special occasion.

My personal goal? To become more consistent with my yoga practice and fit into the stack of jeans under my bed that I got to fat for this year by the end of next year. I don't care about being skinny. I just want to fit in my dang clothes again!!! :)

Chaos and Eat. Pray. Love.

The last five days have been CHAOS. Absolute. chaos.

I decided to start a business. Had I told you that yet? I tried it last year but it just wasn't right. I decided to give it a whirl again this year. Boy, was it hard work. I worked harder on this than I've ever worked before. It was insane.

ProClean Services is the name of our business. It's a cleaning service for apartment complexes. With 15k students and 75% of them have clean checks every two weeks and then a "white glove" at the end of each semester, it is a potentially lucrative business. Also, with new apartment complexes going up all over Rexburg, it just seemed smart. First, I tried going to some apartment communities to work directly with them but as it was almost mid semester, they all had cleaning contractors lined up. So, we had the idea to knock door to door and try to get some students signed up so we could at least get our name out there. We had almost 200 signups in three weeks!!!! I was swamped; however, the idea of turning down business wasn't in my thoughts so we just kept plugging. I was working all day, often until the wee hours of the morning, for a week before the cleaning even began. At the last minute we hired a 7th person to handle the extra business. It was all going right along!

Then one of our cleaners quit before we even began cleaning. Then another one quit in the middle of a job. So, I went to finish the job myself. The next day went okay, just incredibly busy. Then, I got a call from a manager that we could not come on Monday, but instead, had to find a way to complete all of our jobs at their community BEFORE noon the NEXT day. How was I supposed to do that!?!?!?! So, I did my best to rally up some random folks who were willing to help (paid of course) and we go most of it kind of done...not up to my expectations, but at least we tried. That pushed us all back the next day two hours and we were at crunch time. Then, we were approached by a man claiming to work for the Idaho Industrial Commission who was taking pictures of us because we "were under investigation for non-compliance". It was actually the owner of my main competitor here in town - his name is Niel...and he owns a company much like ours called Idaho White Glove. He's not a very nice man to say the least. Anywho, I was so tired and so frustrated with how the course of the last 24 hours had gone that when he showed up and started getting in my face, I pretty much lost every ounce of composure I had managed to hang on to. I was surprised I hadn't broken down before then, but boy did I break down. I cried, and cried and cried and cried. It was B-A-D. I just felt so deflated and defeated, so beat down. I was tired and so emotional. However, my wonderful husband took care of me and let me have Chinese food and took me to a movie. It was just what I needed. It took my mind off all of the ridiculousness that had just occurred and let me unwind. The next day was indeed a day of rest for me and I was so grateful for it. Yesterday and today were slow and steady and we are finally done for the semester. We have decided to give it a go at least one more semester, but we learned a lot for our next endeavor. We are grateful for our little business. It makes us both feel like we have something to call our own that we do together.

So now, my car looks like a cleaning supply room and I think I finally have the house semi back in order. It's a work in progress.

It's our first Christmas together. Tomorrow we will celebrate two months as husband and wife! I cannot believe how time has flown by. We will be together a year in just a few weeks. I am so grateful for Ryan. He is so sweet and wonderful to me. He makes me laugh more than anyone else in this whole world.

Now it's back to normal pace. Le sigh.

I am watching the movie Eat Pray Love right now and sipping on a cup of freshly brewed herbal "fruit tisane" that my Dad got me for Christmas. This movie always puts me in perspective. There are stages of life. Eating, Praying and Loving all represent a part of us that we must balance with the other. Eating represents the indulgence and carefree side to life, prayer is the spirituality within us all, and love...well, that's something that we all wish for and some of the lucky ones have. Love, though, doesn't just represent love between two people who are IN love, but rather being full of love and service towards those around us. We have to find a balance in all of those things.

I am trying to do that for myself. I wish you all balance and peace in your life. It is finding that balance that I think joy follows. We have to indulge sometimes, we must keep our spirit in tune, and we love. There is a great quote in this movie that I love -- "God dwells within us". I believe this with all of my heart. He is a part of us and it is when we tap into that part that we find Him.

Merry Christmas. May we all remember why we celebrate this season and what Christ represents. He is the eternal symbol of peace, joy and love. He is a symbol of sacrifice and service.

Love,

Courtney