Shout out.

Thanks for always reading my blog Vandi. I pretty much just write for you :) hehe. I can always count on comments from you.

Como say whaaa?

So despite my last journal entry, I am feelin dang good right now. Perhaps it's my new haircut? I always feel great after a good hair appointment. I feel like me :) It's a sassy little do with some new color too!! (says the poet who didn't know it!). I put some red and reallly dark brown highlights and low lights in my hair. I love it. Thanks Joe! (I scored a gift card worth $87 for $30...can't beat that!)

So a lot of interesting things have been happening. Let me tell you about the exciting life I currently lead. Today consisted of the following: I got up at noon. I played guitar hero for almost 3 hours with Michelle. I got ready for work and went to work.

What a life right?! Well, I'll love it while it lasts because come Monday, I'm cracking the whip and my new schedule at work starts. Although I have had the WORST luck with jobs....especially restaurants. Do you remember Bertolini's? It was this fantastic Italian place in Circle Center Mall (downtown Indy) and I loved it there. I worked about 30 hours a week and made about 300-400/week in tips. And then I went to work one day and BAM -- CLOSED. I was so sad. So here I am...starting at this great place in Logan and what do I find out? Oh, yep, they're closing at the end of this month. UGH! What the heck?! My dad told me I'm going to get a reputation as being a restaurant killer. The economy is effecting the industry big time....but I guess I'll keep trying.

BUT I had an epiphany a couple of days ago and I'm finally feeling so good about life now. A few things came to my mind....

One: Honestly, I get really lonely sometimes...but it's okay. I won't be lonely forever. I have faith in that. I just gotta keep working on getting the kinks out in my own life.

Two: I'm about 99.9% sure I'm changing my major to Music Education. Originally I thought maybe just changing it to education was the way to go because Music Ed was going to be harder...but I've taken the easy way out way too many times. When I think about what I want to do with the rest of my life, it always involves working with kids. So why am I NOT majoring in anything to do with kids? So, there ya go. I can be a professional singer without a bachelor's degree. And I certainly do NOT want to be an opera singer...although it is pretty fun to hit those high notes! I toyed with the idea of staying here in Logan and transferring to Utah State to finish my degree. But no, I need to be in Rexburg. It is the best place for me for a lot of reasons.

Three: With number two finally figured out, I'm going to **hopefully** get a job substitute teaching this fall while I'm here in Logan. It's not hard to do and it doesn't pay super well....but it still pays decent and it gives me some experience in the education field.

Four: Good guys still exist. I was starting to worry for a while that all was left was a world full of guys who had the depth of the kiddie pool but I'm happy to report that there are some good ones left....and one of them happens to be newly single again. I'm not saying that I'm going to jump on that too soon, or that I'm going to "jump on it" at all (I should really watch my catch phrases to make sure they aren't literal) but this particular guy intrigues me. He keeps my interest. He always has something interesting or insightful to say. He is incredibly talented. He is sweet and has a smile that could light up a room. And he's honest. Obviously, it's safe to say I like him...and I don't normally divulge such information on my blog, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know that I keep a blog, let alone read it! Anyways.....even if he does.....more than anything, even if nothing ever develops between us, it is refreshing to know that good men exist.

See? Haven't I been a busy girl? Well, at least my mind has been busy! But it's great. The mountains are beautiful. I saw like six shooting stars during the meteor shower a couple of nights ago and I finally got a little fan the hmmmms instead of my dumb ceiling fan that drives me nuts.

Pictures of new hair to come! :) ♥ MWAH.

Yes...it's 4:35am.

Sleep just hasn't been a part of my life lately. I'm sure it still has something to do with the fact that I sleep on an air mattress and have lots going down in my spinny little head. So, please humor me. If I make a spelling or grammar error -- deal. :)

I moved to Logan, UT about three weeks ago while I'm off track. I come down here to visit all the time anyways. I'm crashing with some friends who are practically family and working.

Things haven't gone as I expected per se...but then again, when do things really go the way I expect them to?! HA! Never. Anywho...I do love Logan. It's a great town. I also dig the weather right now. No humidity, it hardly ever rains, and it's sunny and warm.

So, hear me out. A few months ago I turned 25 right? Yep. I did. I feel as if I've come to the conclusion that I might be suffering through a quarter life crisis. I don't like the fact that I'm getting older...and moreso that I feel like I'm behind somehow. I have no husband, no kids, no degree...but does that define success in our lives? What defines if we're "where we are supposed to be"? I do have a lot of experiences and mistakes to contribute. Ha. But you know how in kindergarden they determine whether or not you're "where you're supposed to be" before they advance you on to first grade -- well, what is it for 25? And if I'm not there yet, can I stay 25 until I meet the requirments?

I know I'm probably looking at this all wrong but what can I say? It's just how I feel. I'm trying to figure out where my life is going...and getting older isn't fairing well with me at the moment. I'm trying to embrace life and blah blah blah and some days are better than others. I have no reason to complain about my life. I'm not living on the streets and I have food to eat. I'm extremely blessed with great people in my life and have been given all the talents a girl could ask for....but I feel like something is missing. I feel like I'm not being what I was brought here to be. I've been trying to figure this stuff out for a while now (in case you didn't already gather that).

Tonight I was making dinner for myself, home alone, listening to Jazz music and I was perfectly content. Right now I'm awake, exhausted, itchy (don't know why...random) and frustrated because I can't sleep. I hate this air mattress. It's not comfortable at all...and my fan makes noise and keeps me awake. I like the normal low hummmmmm of a fan, but this is a ceiling fan...and it's loose a little bit...and it makes obnoxious noises! LOL.

So perhaps I'm done complaining. :) Sorry you have to listen to me rant about such retarded things.

Sheryl Crow said it best...

A change will do you good.

Feliz Cumpleanos Estados Unidos!

I know, irony that I wrote Happy Birthday America in Spanish!? I thought it was funny :)

Anywhoooo.....

Can I just say how lame I am that I never keep up with this blog. In my defense, I'm WAY better than I was when I first moved here, but nonetheless, it's still a good chunk of time in between posts.

So this weekend we celebrated our independence and the birth of our fine nation. Well, okay, maybe right now our nation isn't so fine, but still, I live in a bubble most of the time and never watch the news. Ah, ignorance is bliss.

I went down to one of my favorite places for the little holiday -- Logan, Utah. It was nice to get away from Rexburg for a bit and to forget that I go to school and that I am stressed out about 493.3938 things right now going on in my life. I stayed at the oh-so-hospitable Joe's house again and had a great time hanging out. I wish I had more pictures to show but unfortunately I didn't take a lot of pictures this weekend. Again, one of my many blogging imperfections. Blogs can be boring without pictures. Facebook has lots though...so just go there for pictures. :)

I came back this weekend feeling different from when I left though. Very strange how that works. We'll see if and how long these new feelings last, but I realized that life is here to live and enjoy -- and that I need to relax and enjoy life more. My mind was in a strange place this weekend and I'm still not exactly sure where or how it ended up there. But I've come to some self realizations this weekend. I spent the weekend with Joe and Charlie and their family. I didn't do what I set out to do this weekend -- well not all of it at least. It just goes to show me that I need to stop expecting so much and go with it more. Charlie is a very go with the flow type of guy....and I admire that about him. I'm terrible at that. I always make these "plans" in my head....and they never turn out the way I want them to. So maybe I should stop planning so much and starting living life how it's going and loving that a little more?! Not sure if any of this made sense to you...but that's how I roll, I guess.

The mountains were beautiful and the weather was really great all weekend. Happy Birthday America.

Crick or creek?

Okay, so the title has absolutely nothing to do with the topic other than the fact I took a nap earlier today, slept wrong, and have had the worst crick in my neck ever sense. Advil and a heating pad are my two favorite friends right now. (Except it is one of those stick on heating pads, and well, it's not doing a very good job of sticking. So now I'm getting a worse crick in my neck from sitting with my head stiff so the heating pad doesn't come unstuck. Really, could life get more complicated?!)

This week was a good week! I'll tell you why. Pay attention....

I started each day off with scripture reading and a prayer. AND I got up at 6:15a. Shocked, I know. Me? A morning person? Surely not! But I am telling you I have been trying it and I like it! I miss sleep sometimes, and still love naptime, but all in all, it's been such a great blessing for me. I just need to work on going to bed a little earlier.

I don't have anything particularly interesting to share with you. I went to a really great fireside tonight that helped me gain a little more appreciation of my self worth and the worth of those around me. We all have divine potential. But what really hit home is that being healthy and simple and clean is what is most important. As I have grown closer to God I have really come to love simplicity. I have come to find peace in the simple things. I still have big dreams, but they involve traveling to other countries and teaching children about being creators. Teaching them how to create by using music, books, art, and food and tapping into their imaginations. I think as adults we sometimes lose that passion inside of us to create something. I have two great clips I want you to watch. One is about creating...the other about distorted body images. Somehow, to me, they tie in together. We don't need to be perfect to be beautiful. We can create without those things.



This clip is excerpts from a talk given at a General Relief Society Broadcast given two years ago. I loved this talk. Creating is what makes me feel alive. The music behind this video is inspiring! Enjoy! If you ever need a pick me up or some inspiration, I recommend this video!



Crazy huh? Man...imagine how hot I could look with professional makeup artists and some photo shop!


Good night all :)

Spread the word!

Sleepyhead.

I'm tired. And a bit grouchy.

That's all.

♥ Courtney

Oh -- and check out my other blog!

naturallygoodbycourtney.blogspot.com

A time for writing and a time for......other stuff.

Oh blog, can I tell you something. This semester?? It's kicking my butt. And not in a good way...because my butt doesn't look any better than it did before.

Here's what I do know though -- I ain't gon' give up. (Don't worry Dad.)

I don't have any baby pictures to post, as I do not have a baby.

I do not have any other pictures to post because I keep forgetting and/or losing my camera at those moments in my life where a camera would be nice. So you'll have to use your imaginations as I do my best to depict my life in word form.

I went to Salt Lake City over Memorial Day weekend! I can now call myself a real mormon. I have seen mecca. :) We took an "official" tour of Temple Square and I must say, I was more than impressed by the pioneers. They were crafty people!! Not only did they build a breath taking building such as the SLC Temple, they built the Tabernacle with some of the most amazing acoustics I've ever heard. I wanted to jump on that stage and sing so bad I could barely restrain myself. I also just found the whole idea of the tours so cool. If I wasn't a member of the LDS Church already, I would definitely be more interested in the Church afterwards.

The only creepy thing was the lady at the end of the tour who was taking pictures in front of the Christus statue. It wasn't creepy that she was taking pictures -- but it was creepy that she was posing on the floor, whilst several months pregnant, whilst wearing a tube top and skirt as to expose her very pregnant stomach. I think pregnant woman are beautiful, don't get me wrong, but that just creeped me out. I was feeling all spiritual after listening to the little message and pondering as I looked at the statue of Christ then BAM! Pregnant woman shows up....not. cool.

The longer I live out west, the more I am growing to love it. The landscapes are amazing. Mountains are awe inspiring to me. I've gone down to Logan, Utah a few times now and everytime I go I love it more and more. We went on a drive through the Logan Canyon and it was so beautiful!!! I'm thinking more and more about doing my masters at Utah State (which is in Logan). I've also discovered that I enjoy rural life much more than urban life. I feel more at peace. For any of you that have known me long enough to experience me when I'm struggling with panic attacks, you know that driving has always been one of my biggest problems. There was a time where I would have panic attacks just driving to work that was a mere 10 minutes away! Now, I can drive to Utah, all by myself, in perfect peace :) I think it is because I never have to deal with heavy traffic and I have beautiful landscapes to look at. It just makes me happy :) I actually really enjoy going on a nice drive nowadays.

Hmm....let's see, what else?

I made lasagna for the first time -- it turned out really well!! I did my normal Courtney spin on it and made things a bit healthier by using ground turkey instead of ground beef and switched regular lasagna noodles for whole wheat noodles. I also used organic canned diced tomatoes instead of processed spaghetti or tomato sauce. I was really happy with how it turned out! I want my own cooking show! If I posted my dishes and recipes on a blog, would you guys actually try them??

Also, a new trick for making homemade garlic bread : Cut your favorite loaf of bread to open it up (we used french bread, but you could use italian or even a whole grain roll). With a slightly softened stick of butter add dried basil and parsley (substantial amounts of both) as well as a about 3 or 4 Tbls of garlic powder to the butter. Then whip the butter with electric beaters until all is combined and butter is fluffy so it's easier to spread. Spread it on the bread and bake at about 400 degrees until bread is crispy and butter is melted!! YUMMY!

Welp....I think I've given you enough for today. :) Hope you're all doing well and loving life!

♥ Courtney

Hormones.

Reader beware: I might discuss in small and non-graphic doses the annoyances of being a girl. Don't say I didn't warn you.

How was your weekend? Mine? Adequate. I'm getting used to some new additions to my spiritual life and adjusting quite well if I say so myself. It was sunny and warmer this weekend, which was a nice change of pace. Oh, and it wasn't INSANELY windy either. That was VERY nice (my hair says thank you!).

One thing I'm not loving is being a girl. I've always had somewhat of "female problems" it seems and therefore, I used to take birth control. Well, I didn't take it for a long time, but I started having issues again, so now I'm back on it. However, for the last two days I have wanted to die....or sleep a lot. Just do something that involves me being incoherent to pain and annoyances that come along with "that time". Once again, my body is still not behaving normally. And men have NO idea what we go through. Sure, you get kicked in the balls and it hurts -- and that is a pain that I will never experience or be able to relate too -- but I assure you it does not compare to what women go through for days at a time. You really should worship the ground we walk on, guys. Just sayin....

So ibuprofen and heating pads have been my bff's for the last two days. And buttered whole wheat toast. I've been slightly obsessed with that as well.

This is what happens when I don't have any kids or husbands to talk about. Hehe :)

So today starts off another crrrrraaazzzzyyyy busy week. I really wish I had enough time in the day to do everything I need to. Luckily, we have Monday AND Tuesday off next week for Memorial Day and I'm taking a little mini-vaca down the road to Utah to hang with Joseph. We're going to Salt Lake and I'm so pumped (I've never been there, and it IS the mormon mecca afterall). AND I've been promised a dinner at Cheesecake Factory. YUMMMMMM. Applebee's is the only nice, sit down restuarant in Rexburg. Yes, I work at a Steakhouse, but that gets old after a while too. I'm very much looking forward to that. Pictures are promised. :)

The weather is gorgeous today and is supposed to stay like this all week! YAY!

Okay, lunch and homework becons me. UGH.