There is a boy here on campus that I've become well acquainted with this semester that one day looked eerily familiar. Now every time I see him, I see a little bit of you. I don't know what to make of it or what to think of it. I just know that your blue eyes could look straight through me and I sometimes think his do too.
I miss your blue eyes.
Anthony Fordyce was my first real boyfriend and also my first "I love you". He was a first a lot of things. He was my first real kiss. My first real date. My first fight. My first break up. We barely talked through high school after we had broken up. Then one day, out of the blue, three years after we had left high school, his voice was on the other end of my home phone. We became good friends again and he even lived with me for a while (just as a roommate....but I'd be lying if the idea of more never crossed my mind). In October of 2008, Anthony was found dead in his apartment from an overdose on pain killers. I will never forget that day. His life was cut short all too soon. Now, I see him everytime I look at this guy at school and I just don't know what to do with it. I was just thinking about it though....and I needed to get that out in the air.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
ProClean Services of Rexburg
Guess what? I finally put in some grunt work and started my own little business. I've been trying to figure out a way to do my own business for a while now and finally I thought " Hm....everyone who goes to school here has to have clean checks...not to mention people just don't like to clean...sooooo" Vòila! ProClean Services of Rexburg has been born. I have done some decent marketing and hope that it pays off. I'll give you a little scoop of some of my marking flyers so you can see! I made them myself! So, if you know anyone in the Rexburg area who needs some cleaning, let me know!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Being sick cramps my style.
Although being sick does give me some time to catch up on my blog.
This semester is nothing short of CRAZY. I'm taking 16 credits, participating in the Opera, volunteering as a peer facilitator for life skills workshop series, and am mentoring a student for the Heber J. Grant scholarship program. Oh, and I'm still trying to find a job. Ha! I'm trying to get a job on campus with the music department, so at least it would be close to home and related to something I'm doing.
Despite my best efforts of getting enough sleep, taking a vitamin everyday, exercising, and eating healthy, my body decided to be sick. So, I slept in this morning, got some collodial silver at the recommendation of my vocal coach, drank a warm cup of herbal echinecha tea and made myself a smoothie. Don't worry, I put a link to the recipe for you.
So needless to say, I've been a busy girl. I also had a birthday a couple of weeks ago. Twenty-six. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I'm okay with my age, but often times I forget that I am so much older (and of course, wiser) than most of my peers. I'm still crazy silly me, but with a little bit less.....something. I'm not really sure what that something is other than the fact that I think I've actually grown up a little bit and started taking some responsibility for myself nowadays.
My camera is broken so unfortunately, I don't have a lot of exciting pictures to post. I have a camera phone, but that's kind of lame. I have a camera on my computer, but mainly I just take little headshots of myself. :) I have a Mac now and I'm in love with it. Seriously, seriously in love with it. I guess for your entertainment, I will post some recent silly shots of myself. The first one obviously isn't silly....but I thought it was necessary so you remember that I don't look like a headless or crazy maniac.
Health and Happiness to all :)
Court
This semester is nothing short of CRAZY. I'm taking 16 credits, participating in the Opera, volunteering as a peer facilitator for life skills workshop series, and am mentoring a student for the Heber J. Grant scholarship program. Oh, and I'm still trying to find a job. Ha! I'm trying to get a job on campus with the music department, so at least it would be close to home and related to something I'm doing.
Despite my best efforts of getting enough sleep, taking a vitamin everyday, exercising, and eating healthy, my body decided to be sick. So, I slept in this morning, got some collodial silver at the recommendation of my vocal coach, drank a warm cup of herbal echinecha tea and made myself a smoothie. Don't worry, I put a link to the recipe for you.
So needless to say, I've been a busy girl. I also had a birthday a couple of weeks ago. Twenty-six. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I'm okay with my age, but often times I forget that I am so much older (and of course, wiser) than most of my peers. I'm still crazy silly me, but with a little bit less.....something. I'm not really sure what that something is other than the fact that I think I've actually grown up a little bit and started taking some responsibility for myself nowadays.
My camera is broken so unfortunately, I don't have a lot of exciting pictures to post. I have a camera phone, but that's kind of lame. I have a camera on my computer, but mainly I just take little headshots of myself. :) I have a Mac now and I'm in love with it. Seriously, seriously in love with it. I guess for your entertainment, I will post some recent silly shots of myself. The first one obviously isn't silly....but I thought it was necessary so you remember that I don't look like a headless or crazy maniac.
Health and Happiness to all :)
Court
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mother's Day
You were there for me when I could be there for myself.
You understood every angle, every cry, every laugh.
You knew my smile and every feature of my face.
You knew me before I knew me.
You loved me more than I could ever give you credit for,
And even in your death I understand that no one can ever replace your love.
You taught me about life and you taught me about laughter.
You brushed my hair ever so gently.
I smile and laugh just the same as you.
When I look at your pictures frozen in time, I can almost hear your voice.
I know I can hear your laugh. I can see your beautiful face.
Thank you for giving me a life I never knew I could have.
You're never gone forever. You allowed me to move on and be happy despite your absence.
You were and forever will by my mother.
You're never forgotten, never forsaken and never taken for granted.
Happy Mother's Day.
I'll see you someday.
---------------
Thirteen years have gone by and even though I still cry at least once every Mother's Day, but they have become softer tears and sometimes even joyful tears. God has a plan and I trust in it. I could ask why for the rest of my life, but sometimes we cannot become who we want to be without a push or something to challenge us to our very core. I have fought and battled and I am happy to say that I am each day becoming a better, stronger, happier woman. I am, no doubt, someone that my mother (and my father) can be proud of. Together they have taught me many things. My mother instilled in me the ability to show unconditional love and my father the inept ability to get up every day and do my best. I'd say I'm very fortunate. Despite her death, I have been able to feel my mother's love carry on. Soon she will finally have a marker on her grave; this, the one thing I have wanted to do for her for thirteen years. No longer will her final resting place be a lonely plot without a name. Anyone who walks by her will know that she is there, and that she was a loving mother. Her posterity can find her and through my life and stories, be able to know the ancestor they might have never known otherwise.
I look forward to being a mother someday. I look forward to teaching and watching my own creation grow and learn and hopefully make this world a more peaceful and beautiful place. (Now, the husband finding part.....that's another journal entry!)
To all the mothers out there, don't forget how important you are. Your children might not even know where to begin in understanding your importance, but I assure you, someday they will and that is all that really matters.
I love you, Mom.
You understood every angle, every cry, every laugh.
You knew my smile and every feature of my face.
You knew me before I knew me.
You loved me more than I could ever give you credit for,
And even in your death I understand that no one can ever replace your love.
You taught me about life and you taught me about laughter.
You brushed my hair ever so gently.
I smile and laugh just the same as you.
When I look at your pictures frozen in time, I can almost hear your voice.
I know I can hear your laugh. I can see your beautiful face.
Thank you for giving me a life I never knew I could have.
You're never gone forever. You allowed me to move on and be happy despite your absence.
You were and forever will by my mother.
You're never forgotten, never forsaken and never taken for granted.
Happy Mother's Day.
I'll see you someday.
---------------
Thirteen years have gone by and even though I still cry at least once every Mother's Day, but they have become softer tears and sometimes even joyful tears. God has a plan and I trust in it. I could ask why for the rest of my life, but sometimes we cannot become who we want to be without a push or something to challenge us to our very core. I have fought and battled and I am happy to say that I am each day becoming a better, stronger, happier woman. I am, no doubt, someone that my mother (and my father) can be proud of. Together they have taught me many things. My mother instilled in me the ability to show unconditional love and my father the inept ability to get up every day and do my best. I'd say I'm very fortunate. Despite her death, I have been able to feel my mother's love carry on. Soon she will finally have a marker on her grave; this, the one thing I have wanted to do for her for thirteen years. No longer will her final resting place be a lonely plot without a name. Anyone who walks by her will know that she is there, and that she was a loving mother. Her posterity can find her and through my life and stories, be able to know the ancestor they might have never known otherwise.
I look forward to being a mother someday. I look forward to teaching and watching my own creation grow and learn and hopefully make this world a more peaceful and beautiful place. (Now, the husband finding part.....that's another journal entry!)
To all the mothers out there, don't forget how important you are. Your children might not even know where to begin in understanding your importance, but I assure you, someday they will and that is all that really matters.
I love you, Mom.
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