Maw-iage is what brings us together today.

Being engaged has all sorts of adventurous situations where in to learn from. This semester Ryan and I are taking a class from the Family and Home Education Department appropriately titled, "Marriage". Here at good ol' "BYU-I do" almost all of us take a religion course titled, "Preparing for Eternal Marriage", which Ryan and I have both taken before; however, the marriage class we are in this semester focuses more on marriage itself. How do you strengthen your marriage? Is marriage really important? How to communicate in marriage. Our professor is also a counselor so it is kind of like a little group counseling session on marriage.
I've watched those around me who are married. As the youngest in my family, I am the last one to be married. As much as I love my dad and stepmom, I wouldn't consider them to have a model marriage. But, I would say that through trials and probably many situations where one or both could have thrown in the towel, they have been married for over 20 years now. They've stuck with it. That is commendable in and of itself. It has shown me the reality of marriage. Since Ryan and I both come from divorced parents (Ryan's parents divorced when he was two, mine when I was four) I think both of us have had our major setbacks about marriage in and of itself. I know for myself, I have always been scared of divorce. I am scared of losing my spouse before we are old and ready to die. I was scared to trust someone that much. I was worried that no one would ever love me the way I felt I needed and wanted to be loved.
We all know the marriage statistics. Half of all first marriages end in divorce. HALF. One out of every TWO. It is comforting to know that marriages performed in the LDS temples are about 10% lower than that, but the number is still high. So why are we still getting married so much and for what reasons? Why is divorce so prevalent nowadays, when, in the 1960's the divorce rate was significantly lower?
As I think about my relationship with Ryan, I'm so grateful for the engagement period. We get to practice some aspects of marriage (mainly the idea of being solely being committed to each other and no one else) along with making decisions together and really settling in to the idea of being together always. I also appreciate our old fashioned values when it comes to honoring a chaste and virtuous life together. In a world like today's, that is definitely a difficult task, but I feel like it makes our love and appreciation for each other stronger. I know that our marriage will have hard days and hard times, but I'm so grateful I've found someone who loves me the way I need to be loved and who is committed to me. We are both so imperfect yet we are both so perfect for each other. I wish I knew where life is taking us, but only time will tell.

Hooray for marriage! :)

(Oh, and engagement photos will be soon!!!)

Four Months :)

In exactly four months, I'll be Mrs. Ryan Whitear.

Smiles all around!!!

Root Beer Adventures

Ryan and I have started a new little journey. We are going to become root beer connoisseurs. Once a month we will try a new root beer and give it our honest opinion. 

This month we tried an Australian Root Beer called Bundaberg.

From the Bundaberg website their description says: "Traditionally brewed to a genuine old recipe from real sarsaparilla root, licorice root, vanilla beans and molasses." 

I'd say that's very accurate. We didn't hate this root beer, but I don't think we'll be having it again anytime soon. The licorice flavor was notable and in my opinion, overpowering. The smooth, creamy texture of some of my favorite root beers was lacking. Bundaberg packed a bit of a bite. 

Ryan gave this root beer a 3.5. He didn't seem to mind the taste. 

I give this root beer a solid 2. It was a bit too strong on licorice for me. 

I did enjoy the packaging though. I thought the bottles were unique and fun. 

Two dresses for sale!!

I have two beautiful wedding dresses for sale. (I bought them long before I was engaged...not with the purpose of keeping them, but to sell them!)

They are both from J. Crew. They retail for $600!!!!! I'm selling them for $100 (plus shipping). They are each 100% silk. One is a halter, the other a sleeveless v-neck. They are elegant, classy, and simple.

The Halter (size 10):

The Sleeveless V-Neck (Size 12):

Please pass along the info if you know anyone who would want to buy either of these gorgeous dresses. 

I have no words for this title.

I can either sleep for 14 hours or not sleep at all. My stomach gets upset every time I eat. I am craving salt and carbs like it's my job. I am exhausted and I just want to cry sometimes. I'm SO over school that I can scarcely take it.

On the other hand, Ryan is the cutest, best future husband a girl could ask for. I stayed home sick today and when he came over he told me to go get my hairbrush and some lotion. He made me take tylenol because I felt hot and maybe had a fever. He brushed my hair for a while and then he put lotion on my feet and rubbed then. Later, I was hungry and all I wanted was grilled cheese and soup. Ryan isn't much of a cook...he makes dutch pancakes and scrambled eggs and rice in a rice cooker. But he made me grilled cheese and ramen and it was PERFECT. He made it all by himself and when I tried to help he made me go lay back down. He cleaned up the dishes and was so patient and sweet to me. This, my friends, is one lucky girl. He told me I looked cute when I'm sick. Seriously, I don't know how I found him but thank goodness I'm keeping him!

So, obviously my life is great..I'm just so stressed about school and work. This is how my body reacts to stress...I know that's what is going on. I'm so stressed out I'm making myself sick.

I just need to breathe.
And maybe do some yoga.
Six more weeks and then I'll have five months off from school.

You can do this. You can do this. You can do this.