Today has been my first day off with nothing going on for a long time! Not to mention, we actually have internet at home and if all goes according to plan, I get my new laptop today! AWHOOHOO! Anyways....a lot has been going on lately and I don't even know if I can keep track of it all.
The new job is going swellingly. I enjoy it but after 20 hours in 2 days....my body hurts. As in really truly painfully hurts. My poor feet and ankles feel like they've ran a marathon or something...although honestly I've never ran a marathon so I'm only guessing...but I think my guessing skills are in tact. I'm sure that eventually my job will become "just another job" but there's a part of me that really hopes it doesn't. I am making pretty good money thus far and I'll only get better with time so my tips will continue to increase. I've been averaging right around 20% on my tips, which considering I just started AND I've haven't waited tables in a long time, I think that's darn good. The people that work there are pretty cool for the most part. I have no complaints yet. I'll continue to update you. I'm hoping to start culinary school in the next few months and am really excited about that!
On a sadder note, as you read in my previous blog, our dear beloved prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, passed away on Sunday night. How fitting that he would pass on the Sabbath Day. For those of you reading this who might not know who he is, I know that he was a Prophet made for our modern day. He was an example to all on kindness, love, and generosity. He was funny, witty, and adorable. All who knew him loved and cherished him. Even us who never met him face to face. I had a most interesting dream last night....and I met him in my dream...and I right after I met him, he died. It was a very strange dream. I will miss him but I am ever more grateful for the knowledge we have that families are eternal. Now, again, he is with his dear, sweet wife and is among the greatest men that ever lived. He will be missed, but only until we meet again (or for the first time!!).
Yet another sad note is learning that my good friend Chad's father passed away last friday. This news was a little more shocking considering it was a sudden, unexpected passing. I am all too familiar with the scenario of losing a parent, as most of you know that I lost my mother in 1997 to cancer. Chad's father had just visited our branch a few weeks before while Chad was giving a talk. Ironcially enough, I don't know what to say to someone when they lose a parent. I know that no matter what I say or do, the greiving process and time are the only two things that truly make one better. There are no words or actions that relieve the stinging pain of loss or the unbelief that they are truly gone. What some don't think about when you lose someone is the next few days or weeks after that when all of their belongings are still in your house and you have to go through all of them....each one a reminder of the person you loved so much. You don't want to get rid of anything because their possessions now become your most prized possessions. Their hands touched it and in a way it's like you touching them again. That is the part that is so hard to let go. Then come the weeks of perhaps fear, or intense sadness. You move on and get better in the slightest bit each day....you just have to keep going and allow time and the Lord to heal your troubled heart, mind and soul. You just keep going. And going. Until one day you wake up and it doesn't hurt as bad. There will always be days in your life where you will think about them more than others. For me, it's been over 10 years and I still struggle with issues in my life pertaining to a tragic loss. I only pray and hope for Chad that he will be able to just keep going each day, doing all he can, and constantly asking for strenght from the Lord, because that is the only place he can recieve miraculous strength. This is know.
I've been missing my best friend, Kiera. I just thought I'd throw that in there. We haven't really spoken in a few weeks and I don't like it one bit. She's been struggling with some things, and I don't really know what they are or how to help. So if you're reading this Kik, just know that you are in my prayers always. I am always here.
My dear beloved friend, Quinn is having a baby boy!!!!!!!! I'm going to be an Aunt (well a fake aunt, but i'll love that little kid as if he was my really nephew)!!! I can't wait to see how adorable this baby is going to be. They are due June 21st. How hilarious is that? Wait, I should probably inform you that Quinn is slightly obsessed with the number 21. It was his basketball number in high school and it's pretty much his all around favorite number. When I went to visit him we did 21 pushups every night before bed. Yeah....I know what you're thinking. His blog is browntown21.blogspot.com if you want to see the baby sonograms. SO CUTE! I am so excited for him! I only hope to find a husband who is half as cool, half as handsome and half as awesome as he is. Lexi is a lucky girl!
So today I'm just relaxing....slept in WAY to long this morning (or should I say this afternoon...yikes!) and need to desperately clean our apt. With three people living here, it's pretty much something of a disaster area. I won't even get started on Alise and Amy's room. It's like a clothes bomb went off in there. No seriously....I'm not even joking. Clothes. Everywhere. Tonight we have institute and I am going to dinner with some friends before.
That's your update for now. Until we meet again.
-Courtney
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Beloved Church President, Gordon B. Hinckley, Dies at 97
Beloved Church President, Gordon B. Hinckley, Dies at 97
SALT LAKE CITY 27 January 2008 President Gordon B. Hinckley, who led The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints through twelve years of global expansion, has died at the age of 97.
President Hinckley was the 15th president in the 177-year history of the Church and had served as its president since 12 March 1995.
The Church president died at his apartment in downtown Salt Lake City at 7:00 p.m. Sunday night from cause’s incident to age. Member of his family were at his bedside. A successor is not expected to be formally chosen by the Church’s Quorum of the Twelve Apostles until after President Hinckley’s funeral within the next few days.
President Hinckley was known, even at the age of 95, as a tireless leader who always put in a full day at the office and traveled extensively around the world to mix with Church members, now numbering nearly 13 million in 171 nations.
His quick wit and humor, combined with an eloquent style at the pulpit, made him one of the most loved of modern Church leaders. A profoundly spiritual man, he had a great fondness for history and often peppered his sermons with stories from the Church’s pioneer past.
He was a popular interview subject with journalists, appearing on 60 Minutes with Mike Wallace and on CNN’s Larry King Live, as well as being quoted and featured in hundreds of newspapers and magazines over the years. During the Salt Lake Olympics of 2002, his request that the Church refrain from proselytizing visitors was credited by media with generating much of the goodwill that flowed to the Church from the international event.
In recent years, a number of major developments in the Church reflected President Hinckley’s personal drive and direction. In calling for 100 temples to be in operation before the end of the year 2000, the Church president committed the Church to a massive temple-building program.
In 1999 — 169 years after the Church was organized by its founder, Joseph Smith — the Church had 56 operating temples. Three years later that number had doubled, largely because of a smaller, highly practical temple architectural plan that delivered these sacred buildings to Church members in far-flung parts of the world. Many more Church members can now experience the sacred ceremonies that occur only in temples, including marriages for eternity and the sealing of families in eternal units.
President Hinckley was the most traveled president in the Church’s history. His duties took him around the world many times to meet with Latter-day Saints in more than 60 countries. He was the first Church president to travel to Spain, where in 1996 he broke ground for a temple in Madrid; and to the African nations of Nigeria, Ghana, Kenya, Zimbabwe and Cape Verde, where he met with thousands of Latter-day Saints in 1998. In 2005, he traveled nearly 25,000 miles on a seven-nation, nine-day tour to Russia, South Korea, China, Taiwan, India, Kenya, and Nigeria.
At a general conference of Church members in April 2001, President Hinckley initiated the Perpetual Education Fund — an ambitious program to help young members of the Church (mainly returning missionaries from developing countries) receive higher education and work-related training that they would otherwise likely never receive.
Closer to his Salt Lake City home, President Hinckley announced the construction of a new Conference Center in 1996 and dedicated it four years later. Seating 21,000 people, it is believed to be the largest religious and theater auditorium in the world and has become the hub for the Church’s general conference messages to the world, broadcast in 54 languages.
Even before his term as president, President Hinckley’s extensive Church service included 14 years as a counselor in the First Presidency, the highest presiding body in the government of the Church, and 20 years before that as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
President Hinckley was born 23 June 1910 in Salt Lake City, a son of Bryant Stringham and Ada Bitner Hinckley. One of his forebears, Stephen Hopkins, came to America on the Mayflower. Another, Thomas Hinckley, served as governor of the Plymouth Colony from 1680 to 1692.
President Hinckley’s first job was as a newspaper carrier for the Deseret News, a Salt Lake City daily. After attending public schools in Salt Lake City, he earned a bachelor of arts degree at the University of Utah and then served two years as a full-time missionary for the Church in Great Britain. He served with distinction and ultimately was appointed as an assistant to the Church apostle who presided over all the European missions.
Upon successfully completing his missionary service in the mid-1930s, he was asked by Heber J. Grant, then president of the Church, to organize what has become the Church's Public Affairs Department.
President Hinckley began serving as a member of the Sunday School general board in 1937, two years after returning home from missionary service in Great Britain. For 20 years he directed all Church public communications. In 1951 he was named executive secretary of the General Missionary Committee, managing the entire missionary program of the Church, and served in this capacity for seven years.
On 6 April 1958, while serving as president of the East Millcreek Stake in Salt Lake City (a stake is similar to a diocese), President Hinckley was appointed as a general authority, or senior full-time leader of the Church. In this capacity he served as an assistant to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles before being appointed to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles on 5 October 1961.
President Hinckley received a number of educational honors, including the Distinguished Citizen Award from Southern Utah University; the Distinguished Alumni Award from the University of Utah; and honorary doctorates from Westminster College, Utah State University, University of Utah, Brigham Young University, Southern Utah University, Utah Valley State College and Salt Lake Community College. The Gordon B. Hinckley Endowment for British Studies, a program focused on the arts, literature and history of the United Kingdom, was established at the University of Utah.
President Hinckley was awarded the Silver Buffalo Award by the Boy Scouts of America; was honored by the National Conference for Community and Justice (formerly the National Conference of Christians and Jews) for his contributions to tolerance and understanding in the world; and received the Distinguished Service Award from the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. In 2004, President Hinckley was also awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President George W. Bush in the White House.
In March 2000 President Hinckley addressed the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. He also addressed the Religion Newswriters Association and the U.S. Conference of Mayors and twice addressed the Los Angeles World Affairs Council.
President Hinckley wrote and edited several books and numerous manuals, pamphlets and scripts, including a best-selling book, Standing for Something, aimed at a general audience. In it he championed the virtues of love, honesty, morality, civility, learning, forgiveness, mercy, thrift and industry, gratitude, optimism and faith. He also testified of what he called the “guardians of virtue,” namely traditional marriage and family.
President Hinckley married Majorie Pay in the Salt Lake Temple in 1937. They have five children, 25 grandchildren and 38 great-grandchildren. Sister Hinckley passed away 6 April 2004.
SALT LAKE CITY 27 January 2008 President Gordon B. Hinckley, who led The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints through twelve years of global expansion, has died at the age of 97.
President Hinckley was the 15th president in the 177-year history of the Church and had served as its president since 12 March 1995.
The Church president died at his apartment in downtown Salt Lake City at 7:00 p.m. Sunday night from cause’s incident to age. Member of his family were at his bedside. A successor is not expected to be formally chosen by the Church’s Quorum of the Twelve Apostles until after President Hinckley’s funeral within the next few days.
President Hinckley was known, even at the age of 95, as a tireless leader who always put in a full day at the office and traveled extensively around the world to mix with Church members, now numbering nearly 13 million in 171 nations.
His quick wit and humor, combined with an eloquent style at the pulpit, made him one of the most loved of modern Church leaders. A profoundly spiritual man, he had a great fondness for history and often peppered his sermons with stories from the Church’s pioneer past.
He was a popular interview subject with journalists, appearing on 60 Minutes with Mike Wallace and on CNN’s Larry King Live, as well as being quoted and featured in hundreds of newspapers and magazines over the years. During the Salt Lake Olympics of 2002, his request that the Church refrain from proselytizing visitors was credited by media with generating much of the goodwill that flowed to the Church from the international event.
In recent years, a number of major developments in the Church reflected President Hinckley’s personal drive and direction. In calling for 100 temples to be in operation before the end of the year 2000, the Church president committed the Church to a massive temple-building program.
In 1999 — 169 years after the Church was organized by its founder, Joseph Smith — the Church had 56 operating temples. Three years later that number had doubled, largely because of a smaller, highly practical temple architectural plan that delivered these sacred buildings to Church members in far-flung parts of the world. Many more Church members can now experience the sacred ceremonies that occur only in temples, including marriages for eternity and the sealing of families in eternal units.
President Hinckley was the most traveled president in the Church’s history. His duties took him around the world many times to meet with Latter-day Saints in more than 60 countries. He was the first Church president to travel to Spain, where in 1996 he broke ground for a temple in Madrid; and to the African nations of Nigeria, Ghana, Kenya, Zimbabwe and Cape Verde, where he met with thousands of Latter-day Saints in 1998. In 2005, he traveled nearly 25,000 miles on a seven-nation, nine-day tour to Russia, South Korea, China, Taiwan, India, Kenya, and Nigeria.
At a general conference of Church members in April 2001, President Hinckley initiated the Perpetual Education Fund — an ambitious program to help young members of the Church (mainly returning missionaries from developing countries) receive higher education and work-related training that they would otherwise likely never receive.
Closer to his Salt Lake City home, President Hinckley announced the construction of a new Conference Center in 1996 and dedicated it four years later. Seating 21,000 people, it is believed to be the largest religious and theater auditorium in the world and has become the hub for the Church’s general conference messages to the world, broadcast in 54 languages.
Even before his term as president, President Hinckley’s extensive Church service included 14 years as a counselor in the First Presidency, the highest presiding body in the government of the Church, and 20 years before that as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
President Hinckley was born 23 June 1910 in Salt Lake City, a son of Bryant Stringham and Ada Bitner Hinckley. One of his forebears, Stephen Hopkins, came to America on the Mayflower. Another, Thomas Hinckley, served as governor of the Plymouth Colony from 1680 to 1692.
President Hinckley’s first job was as a newspaper carrier for the Deseret News, a Salt Lake City daily. After attending public schools in Salt Lake City, he earned a bachelor of arts degree at the University of Utah and then served two years as a full-time missionary for the Church in Great Britain. He served with distinction and ultimately was appointed as an assistant to the Church apostle who presided over all the European missions.
Upon successfully completing his missionary service in the mid-1930s, he was asked by Heber J. Grant, then president of the Church, to organize what has become the Church's Public Affairs Department.
President Hinckley began serving as a member of the Sunday School general board in 1937, two years after returning home from missionary service in Great Britain. For 20 years he directed all Church public communications. In 1951 he was named executive secretary of the General Missionary Committee, managing the entire missionary program of the Church, and served in this capacity for seven years.
On 6 April 1958, while serving as president of the East Millcreek Stake in Salt Lake City (a stake is similar to a diocese), President Hinckley was appointed as a general authority, or senior full-time leader of the Church. In this capacity he served as an assistant to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles before being appointed to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles on 5 October 1961.
President Hinckley received a number of educational honors, including the Distinguished Citizen Award from Southern Utah University; the Distinguished Alumni Award from the University of Utah; and honorary doctorates from Westminster College, Utah State University, University of Utah, Brigham Young University, Southern Utah University, Utah Valley State College and Salt Lake Community College. The Gordon B. Hinckley Endowment for British Studies, a program focused on the arts, literature and history of the United Kingdom, was established at the University of Utah.
President Hinckley was awarded the Silver Buffalo Award by the Boy Scouts of America; was honored by the National Conference for Community and Justice (formerly the National Conference of Christians and Jews) for his contributions to tolerance and understanding in the world; and received the Distinguished Service Award from the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. In 2004, President Hinckley was also awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President George W. Bush in the White House.
In March 2000 President Hinckley addressed the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. He also addressed the Religion Newswriters Association and the U.S. Conference of Mayors and twice addressed the Los Angeles World Affairs Council.
President Hinckley wrote and edited several books and numerous manuals, pamphlets and scripts, including a best-selling book, Standing for Something, aimed at a general audience. In it he championed the virtues of love, honesty, morality, civility, learning, forgiveness, mercy, thrift and industry, gratitude, optimism and faith. He also testified of what he called the “guardians of virtue,” namely traditional marriage and family.
President Hinckley married Majorie Pay in the Salt Lake Temple in 1937. They have five children, 25 grandchildren and 38 great-grandchildren. Sister Hinckley passed away 6 April 2004.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
It's time to be alone......
It seems that no matter what I do, it's never right. I am so hurt, confused, frustrated, lonely and have to pretty much force myself to be happy every day right now. No one likes a depressed girl I'm sure....and It's not one of those "can't get out of bed" depressed....just a genuine sense of sadness. I feel like everything good relationship in my life gets jeopardized in some how...some way. As I look back at my past relationships, friendships, along with the current ones....I can only see the fact that they all eventually become less important in some way, shape or form...and rarely is it on my end. Am I a bad person? A bad friend? Is there something "non committal" about me? Perhaps I move too much, or change my hairstyle a lot, but does that mean that I'm uncapable of having a long term, committed relationship or friendship without royally screwing something up? I say what I think, how I feel and why I'm feeling that way at a particular moment in time. The rest is up to you to decide on how you want to take it. I just want my life to be exciting and happy....and exciting and happy for everyone around me. However, somehow I always manage to lose the ones who are most important to me....whether it be in a great or small manner. I don't know if I'm capable of handling things that this life has to offer me. I'm tired of the drama and tired of the disappointments. I'm tired..............just simply tired. I'm tired of dealing with the losses and never have a gain to equal out the loss. I just feel hopeless that anything good will ever happen. Of course, there is glimpes of happy times....like dancing the night away on the dance floor or laughing so hard it hurts....but at the end of the day, I feel like I'll always be pushed aside. Forgotten. Second best. Thought of later. Disregarded.
I wish I was on the beach alone.
I wish I was on the beach alone.
Friday, January 25, 2008
You're FIRED!
So.........last monday I was fired. It was........interesting. Expected....and interesting. I didn't do anything wrong per se, but it just wasn't working out. Of course I was upset, but then I was almost relieved. I think that was Heavenly Father's way of making me do what I need to do...which is going back to school! So I got my happy butt up and found me a job :) I am working as a server at this very nice little italian place in the mall...it's called Bertolini's. My plan is to start a culinary program in the summer and after I have completed that, I would like to get my bachelor's degree in nutrition in order to become a personal chef/nutrionist. I am pretty excited about it but more than anything, I enjoy that fact that I don't sit behind a desk every day and have to do the same thing over and over again. I would be lying if I said that I miss by old job....because honestly, the only thing I miss is knowing how much money I make every two weeks, but I like serving...and at a good restaurant, it's good money :) So I'll keep you posted. I'm gonna go take a nap right now...i'm in between shifts finishing up my last day of training...so I'll write more at a later time :)
xoxo
Court
xoxo
Court
Saturday, January 12, 2008
The laws of attraction
Hopefully I'll be able to make sense of my thoughts....again on a friend's computer...and i'll be so glad when I have my own!!!! Soon.....very soon.
I often wonder what attracts one person to another. Are we pre-dispositioned to be attracted to a certain type of person, or like many other of our behaviors, do we learn the behavior of attraction to a particular type of individual? Personally, I am attracted to men who are athletic, laid back, a little on the cocky side, and that look good in their clothes...as well as intelligence, a sense of humor, and the ability to carry on a good conversation. But if everyone was attracted to the same types of persons, although there is the stereo type of "beauty", I fear we would all be at a loss....for there are only so many people in this world who are of a certain type. It fasinates me that at some point in time...everyone finds someone.
My next wondering is what type of men are attracted to what type of women. It's no secret that men are typically attracted to thinner women...regardless of how they actually look...and tend to also fair towards women who are less intelligent than they are in order to feel superior. Maybe this is only a narrow spectrum from my own experience, but most men are intimidated by a woman who can hold their own in a room, do not need them to explain anything...and can accept a good challenge and throw out an insult as easily as they can a compliment.
I am not saying this of all men or women....because some of my closest friends in life have been women who are considered "beautiful" by many men and have no issues with getting their attention. I have often tagged along which is why I have been able to observe the behaviors of these men and women and the games they play with one another.
Men are simple. They want sex and food. They are predisposed to keeping their emotions bottled up, and it takes the possiblity of sex or food to get them to open up. If they are not interested in you, and you can't offer these things....than I can almost guarantee that you will not have their full attention. This I have observed...and this I have decided. Most men simply see women as objects.
I know this might seem like I'm man bashing...and really I'm not. I will probably sound contradictory of my previous paragraphs because I have gained a man's attention without offering food or sex.....but I've also discovered that one is quickly set aside if someone who can offer those things are available.
This is the basic law of attraction. For women, we just want to be loved. Needed. Appreciated. Touched. We are complex creatures who have deep emotional needs. I don't care who you are, if you are a women, you are predisposed to this particular type of behaviors.
It's the meshing of these two oppositions that intrigues me so. To watch a man and women of opposite predispositions collide....what creates that spark? Why can we be blinded by attraction and infatuation? Why can we fall in love even when the other doesn't love us back? Why is love the one thing in this life we can't live without?
Thoughts to ponder....more to come.....
I often wonder what attracts one person to another. Are we pre-dispositioned to be attracted to a certain type of person, or like many other of our behaviors, do we learn the behavior of attraction to a particular type of individual? Personally, I am attracted to men who are athletic, laid back, a little on the cocky side, and that look good in their clothes...as well as intelligence, a sense of humor, and the ability to carry on a good conversation. But if everyone was attracted to the same types of persons, although there is the stereo type of "beauty", I fear we would all be at a loss....for there are only so many people in this world who are of a certain type. It fasinates me that at some point in time...everyone finds someone.
My next wondering is what type of men are attracted to what type of women. It's no secret that men are typically attracted to thinner women...regardless of how they actually look...and tend to also fair towards women who are less intelligent than they are in order to feel superior. Maybe this is only a narrow spectrum from my own experience, but most men are intimidated by a woman who can hold their own in a room, do not need them to explain anything...and can accept a good challenge and throw out an insult as easily as they can a compliment.
I am not saying this of all men or women....because some of my closest friends in life have been women who are considered "beautiful" by many men and have no issues with getting their attention. I have often tagged along which is why I have been able to observe the behaviors of these men and women and the games they play with one another.
Men are simple. They want sex and food. They are predisposed to keeping their emotions bottled up, and it takes the possiblity of sex or food to get them to open up. If they are not interested in you, and you can't offer these things....than I can almost guarantee that you will not have their full attention. This I have observed...and this I have decided. Most men simply see women as objects.
I know this might seem like I'm man bashing...and really I'm not. I will probably sound contradictory of my previous paragraphs because I have gained a man's attention without offering food or sex.....but I've also discovered that one is quickly set aside if someone who can offer those things are available.
This is the basic law of attraction. For women, we just want to be loved. Needed. Appreciated. Touched. We are complex creatures who have deep emotional needs. I don't care who you are, if you are a women, you are predisposed to this particular type of behaviors.
It's the meshing of these two oppositions that intrigues me so. To watch a man and women of opposite predispositions collide....what creates that spark? Why can we be blinded by attraction and infatuation? Why can we fall in love even when the other doesn't love us back? Why is love the one thing in this life we can't live without?
Thoughts to ponder....more to come.....
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
A brief update.....
I know it's been a while since I've updated...and right now I'm on my friend Michelle's computer so I don't know how long this will be. Life has been a tad dramatic lately....and to be honest, I'm a little exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally....I'm just tired all the time. My panic attacks have subsided, FINALLY, but mainly because I'm taking more medicine, and am seeing a therapist again. I know, I know, I sound totally mental, right? But that's not the case....I just need to finally put my mother's death to rest. And learn how to cope with feelings of inadequecy, loss, and everything else that effects me so much.
The good news is that my weight is going DOWN DOWN DOWN!!! I'm down 25 lbs since October!!!! Can you believe it? I don't think people understand how relieving it is to start to feel like a normal woman again....there is still a LOT of weight to lose, but still....25 lbs is a lot!
One of these days I'll let you inside my head on just how different is it to live life when you're 100+ lbs overweight.
I would be nothing without my friends and family right now. I know that God, and my family and friends are where I lean on for support.
OKay....it's too hard to organize my thoughts when I'm at a friends house! more later.....
The good news is that my weight is going DOWN DOWN DOWN!!! I'm down 25 lbs since October!!!! Can you believe it? I don't think people understand how relieving it is to start to feel like a normal woman again....there is still a LOT of weight to lose, but still....25 lbs is a lot!
One of these days I'll let you inside my head on just how different is it to live life when you're 100+ lbs overweight.
I would be nothing without my friends and family right now. I know that God, and my family and friends are where I lean on for support.
OKay....it's too hard to organize my thoughts when I'm at a friends house! more later.....
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