The end of the day.

Merry Belated Christmas!

I'm just living the life right now. Just finished some yoga, have my cup of herbal tea and watching Friends. :)

It was my first Christmas as a Whitear! We have had so many firsts over the last year and it has been amazing. I never imagined I could find someone who accepts every little tiny thing about me -- good and bad -- and still loves me more each day. It was what I had always hoped for in a husband. He calls me beautiful even when I haven't showered and my hair is a mess and I have no makeup on. THAT is true love, my friends!

We traveled a lot this year, wedding included, and because of that, we didn't really have the finances to travel yet again for Christmas. So, we just stayed here at home in Rexburg. We didn't have money for gifts or anything either but we had each other. We put up a baby tree that sits on our dining room tabletop and we hung our stockings by the chimney front door with care. I hid some Reeses cups until Ryan went to sleep and put them in his stocking for Christmas morning. He made me breakfast in bed on Christmas Eve morning and also did the laundry (without me asking!!) and cleaned up around the house for me. It was so simple, but it was a wonderful Christmas. I missed my family, and he missed his, but we had each other, so it wasn't so bad. In fact, it was perfect.

The last few weeks have had some challenges (to say the least). We got our cleaning business off the ground (think: "hardest week of my life") and Ryan ran into a major bump in the road with his Spanish class (think: "um, I didn't realize that part of the course was graded....whoops"). Here is what I've realized about begin married: When you have a good marriage, it makes the sucky things suck less. The week we were cleaning was the most stressful week I have endured in a loooonnnnggggg time. By Saturday, I was emotionally holding myself together with a shaving of a toothpick. Then, the toothpick snapped and I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried........



and cried.......



and cried......


But then Ryan was there the whole time. He held me. He comforted me. He consoled me. Then he let me go to Chinese food for dinner (his least favorite type of food, my most favorite type of food) and then took me to a movie and we got extra butter on the popcorn. In essence, I ate through the emotions. No, that wasn't really what happened...but you see the moral of the story. That day sucked. It sucked worse than a day has sucked in a long time; however, my husband was there to see me through it. That made it easier to deal with in the long run.

Ryan is going through some stuff with the school right now because of his Spanish grade and he might have to take a year off. This would also mean he would lose his job. I know deep down he is really stressing about this. He has shown it too. But, I know that me being there for him has helped it suck less. (I sure have used the word "suck" a lot in this post...)

I'm no marriage expert. I don't claim to be. But if I may offer advice, I will offer this: marry your best friend. Marry the man who thinks you're beautiful in your sweats and no makeup. Marry a man who thinks you're worth everything. Marry the man who will listen to you to the best of his ability and who tries to be a better man just because he thinks he doesn't deserve you (and make sure the feeling is mutual on your end). Marry someone who can make decisions without you but wants you to help and values your opinion. Marry someone who accepts you with all of your flaws. Marry someone who wants to tell you about his day and share his life with you.

I wonder if one of these days I'll stop going on and on about marriage. I imagine that will happen when I have kids and start talking about them all the time. :)

2012 is less than one week away. This year has FLOWN by. I wish you the best in your new year.

Our new years goal? We are not eating out for any meals unless it is for a birthday, anniversary or very notable special occasion.

My personal goal? To become more consistent with my yoga practice and fit into the stack of jeans under my bed that I got to fat for this year by the end of next year. I don't care about being skinny. I just want to fit in my dang clothes again!!! :)

Chaos and Eat. Pray. Love.

The last five days have been CHAOS. Absolute. chaos.

I decided to start a business. Had I told you that yet? I tried it last year but it just wasn't right. I decided to give it a whirl again this year. Boy, was it hard work. I worked harder on this than I've ever worked before. It was insane.

ProClean Services is the name of our business. It's a cleaning service for apartment complexes. With 15k students and 75% of them have clean checks every two weeks and then a "white glove" at the end of each semester, it is a potentially lucrative business. Also, with new apartment complexes going up all over Rexburg, it just seemed smart. First, I tried going to some apartment communities to work directly with them but as it was almost mid semester, they all had cleaning contractors lined up. So, we had the idea to knock door to door and try to get some students signed up so we could at least get our name out there. We had almost 200 signups in three weeks!!!! I was swamped; however, the idea of turning down business wasn't in my thoughts so we just kept plugging. I was working all day, often until the wee hours of the morning, for a week before the cleaning even began. At the last minute we hired a 7th person to handle the extra business. It was all going right along!

Then one of our cleaners quit before we even began cleaning. Then another one quit in the middle of a job. So, I went to finish the job myself. The next day went okay, just incredibly busy. Then, I got a call from a manager that we could not come on Monday, but instead, had to find a way to complete all of our jobs at their community BEFORE noon the NEXT day. How was I supposed to do that!?!?!?! So, I did my best to rally up some random folks who were willing to help (paid of course) and we go most of it kind of done...not up to my expectations, but at least we tried. That pushed us all back the next day two hours and we were at crunch time. Then, we were approached by a man claiming to work for the Idaho Industrial Commission who was taking pictures of us because we "were under investigation for non-compliance". It was actually the owner of my main competitor here in town - his name is Niel...and he owns a company much like ours called Idaho White Glove. He's not a very nice man to say the least. Anywho, I was so tired and so frustrated with how the course of the last 24 hours had gone that when he showed up and started getting in my face, I pretty much lost every ounce of composure I had managed to hang on to. I was surprised I hadn't broken down before then, but boy did I break down. I cried, and cried and cried and cried. It was B-A-D. I just felt so deflated and defeated, so beat down. I was tired and so emotional. However, my wonderful husband took care of me and let me have Chinese food and took me to a movie. It was just what I needed. It took my mind off all of the ridiculousness that had just occurred and let me unwind. The next day was indeed a day of rest for me and I was so grateful for it. Yesterday and today were slow and steady and we are finally done for the semester. We have decided to give it a go at least one more semester, but we learned a lot for our next endeavor. We are grateful for our little business. It makes us both feel like we have something to call our own that we do together.

So now, my car looks like a cleaning supply room and I think I finally have the house semi back in order. It's a work in progress.

It's our first Christmas together. Tomorrow we will celebrate two months as husband and wife! I cannot believe how time has flown by. We will be together a year in just a few weeks. I am so grateful for Ryan. He is so sweet and wonderful to me. He makes me laugh more than anyone else in this whole world.

Now it's back to normal pace. Le sigh.

I am watching the movie Eat Pray Love right now and sipping on a cup of freshly brewed herbal "fruit tisane" that my Dad got me for Christmas. This movie always puts me in perspective. There are stages of life. Eating, Praying and Loving all represent a part of us that we must balance with the other. Eating represents the indulgence and carefree side to life, prayer is the spirituality within us all, and love...well, that's something that we all wish for and some of the lucky ones have. Love, though, doesn't just represent love between two people who are IN love, but rather being full of love and service towards those around us. We have to find a balance in all of those things.

I am trying to do that for myself. I wish you all balance and peace in your life. It is finding that balance that I think joy follows. We have to indulge sometimes, we must keep our spirit in tune, and we love. There is a great quote in this movie that I love -- "God dwells within us". I believe this with all of my heart. He is a part of us and it is when we tap into that part that we find Him.

Merry Christmas. May we all remember why we celebrate this season and what Christ represents. He is the eternal symbol of peace, joy and love. He is a symbol of sacrifice and service.

Love,

Courtney

Random Ramblings for Monday Monday

1. Happy one month anniversary to my love! Best month of my life to date! Being married is great.

2. I took a four hour nap yesterday afternoon, which then resulted in me not going to sleep until almost 2am last night. I'm exhausted and am trying to avoid napping today so I don't start myself in some vicious bad sleeping cycle. Is 3:30pm too early to go to bed? Okay, fine....

3. I took an IQ test today. Guess who is in the top 2.3% of intelligences?!? Who knew?! I guess I'm perty smert after all.

4. I like my new financial aid advisor. She actually answers my emails and knows what she is talking about. Yay!

5. We don't get to go home for Christmas this year. I am SUPER bummed. I have never not been in Indiana for Christmas. I don't know how I'm handling it yet. I don't want to spend my first Christmas as a married couple crying. Haha.

6. Thanksgiving is THURSDAY! YESSSSSSS.

7. I think I'm still a little bitter about how many people in Indiana didn't come to my reception. Is that caddy of me? My family was there, which of course, was most important, but I invited like 150 people...all of whom I consider to be close friends or almost family, if not family. Barely 50 people were there. My mom's best friend and her daughter were home sick. I couldn't believe they didn't come. I mean, I understand being sick, but still...I didn't think there was anything that would keep them from not coming to celebrate my wedding. Only one of my friends from my single's branch back home stopped by, and he came when we were cleaning up. None of my mom's friends showed up that came to my shower. It was just weird. I know it sounds really petty, but it was, to date, the most important event in my life. Had I flaked out on any of them like that? I didn't think I had. My wedding was great, don't get me wrong, and I still had so much fun with those that were there, but to those that weren't, it did not go unnoticed.

So that's my Monday ramblings. I'll follow it up with a gratitude post soon...since I was doing a lot of complaining on this one.

Sorted thoughts.

The dishwasher is running. The apartment is clean. My love is tucked in bed fast asleep and I have time to sip my herbal beverage and reflect on life.

I've already been a married woman for three weeks now. Time flies by. We attended our new ward today for the first time (for all three hours) and I really love it. I think we made a great move by going there instead of the married student ward. For those who are wondering, "what is a ward?" it is an LDS congregation of members in a certain geographical location. That is how the church is divided into individual congregations...or "wards". I believe it was derived from England where townships were called wards, or something like that. I digress. I felt so comfortable there. It helps that from the get-go we knew a handful of people, namely professors that teach where we attend school.

So the grand question, how is married life? Married life is wonderful. It is everything I have ever wanted it to be honestly. When I used to dream about how I wanted to be with my husband, this is what I've always dreamt of having. We love each other and he is my best friend in the whole wide world. There isn't any aspect of myself that I don't feel comfortable sharing with him. We have a great relationship and I feel we are off to a great start. It has been interesting to be asked "have you had any big blow ups yet"...and to those people I say, nope! I'm not saying that Ryan and I are the model couple for how to enter into a marriage, but I can say that I think we did things in a manner when we were dating and when we were engaged that tested our relationship, as well as helped our relationship naturally progress into marriage. Also, we don't sweat the small stuff. I think this can be HUGE. A guy in our ward that used to be Ryan's old roommate was one of the ones who asked us if we had fought yet (he is also a somewhat newlywed). He gave examples of "buttering your toast weird" or doing something that annoys the other person. When we said no, he looked shocked! I can only assume he might not have been so lucky! :) I know that our relationship won't always be this hunky-dory love fest, but we are good so far so why worry about it right now!!! We didn't have too many adjustments to make, so life is just great. That's all I have to say about that.

I'm registered for classes next semester...so it's back to school, back to school, to show my Dad, that I'm no fool (thanks, Billy Madison). I still have mixed feelings about the whole thing, but it will be nice to be back in the swing of things. Two of my professors are in my ward and one of Ryan's professors is our bishop. So no slacking off for us!!!

Man, I had so much on my mind earlier and now all I ramble on about it how great life is.
I have other things I could gripe about, but I frankly don't feel like doing that. I'm going to go back to sipping my herbal beverage and going to bed soon. Bed by 9pm? Welcome to married life. I ain't mad about it either.

Love,

Mrs. Whitear

Click on the link!

One week!!

In case you didn't know...in one week from right now I'll be 45 minutes from being married to my love!

Root Beer of the Month: Grand Teton Brewing Company

This month Ryan and I tried the Grand Teton Brewing Company's Root Beer. One word....

DELISH.

Subtle flavor, creamy texture, rich and smooth. We both loved it.

To quote their website: "The same recipe you've come to know and love in Old Faithful Root Beer, our kettle brewed root beer is a true classic. We brew this root beer with only the finest ingredients including pure Teton mountain spring water, 100% cane sugar, sassafras, vanilla, and just a hint of wintergreen. This refreshing blend is sure to satisfy even the most demanding root beer enthusiasts. It also makes a great root beer float!"




I couldn't agree more! It was kind of fun to try a Root Beer that was local to our area. Definitely one to have again someday!


We are technically cheating this month because we will have be having a new Root Beer at our wedding reception...but we're not counting it so ha! :) 


Nothing like an ice cold (ROOT) beer. Enjoy!

A Temple Marriage

Well I must say I'm very happy with the changes that Blogger is doing these days. I love the new designs!! I like the cutsie little blog backgrounds too, but it's time for a change I think.

Speaking of change....um, hello? I'm getting married in TWO freaking WEEKS from tomorrow! (I know you're all aware.)

So what has been on my mind?

Okay, a lot honestly.

Today I just want to focus on one thing. It's a very important thing...

The Temples of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

What are Temples?

For those who do know, and those who will now know, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I'm actually a convert to the Church and was baptized when I was 17 years old. I'm coming up on my ten year anniversary of my baptism. There is a symbol of our faith that is very sacred to the members of our Church: The Temple. For those outside of our faith, the Temple might seem very intimidating or misunderstood. We are often accused of being "secretive" because what happens inside the temple is not discussed. We are allowed to talk about some aspects, but as far as the ordinances themselves, they are simply too sacred and too deep for those outside to truly understand. It is only within the walls of this holy place, that the ordinances of the Temple can be absorbed and understood fully. That is because the Spirit of God is stronger in a temple than in any other place in the world. You literally feel like you've left the world and stepped into a little piece of heaven when  you walk into it's majestic doors. Something I have been struggling with for years is the fact that because of my strong faith and belief in the restored Gospel and also in temples on Earth today, I am a bit of an outsider in my family. Since they are not LDS, and since I have lived much of my life after my conversion on my own, my beliefs are still somewhat of a mystery to them. Sure, they know I follow certain "rules" and that I choose to abstain from things like alcohol, tobacco, premarital sex, etc. I am much more conservative. The temple aspect of my marriage is the most important, but it has also been the most difficult aspect of my marriage to share with my family.

The Temple is a place of learning. It is a place of peace. It is a place of healing. It is a house of salvation. As Latter Day Saints, a core doctrine of our church is that the family unit can be eternal. This is done by a sealing ordinance performed only in the Temples of the Church by a priesthood holder who has been given the authorization to perform the sealing ordinance. This is done for the living and also for the dead.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

So, since I am a believing Latter Day Saint, and my fiance is as well, we will be married in a Temple. The temple you see here actually (this is the Rexburg Idaho temple, which is where we live). There are about 150 temples throughout the world at this time, and that number continues to grow at a rapid rate.

We are so excited to be married in the Temple, but both of us have several (and in my case, all) family members who are not able to attend the sealing ceremony. It has torn me apart from the beginning...and we are trying to accomodate everyone. We have chosen to have a ring ceremony so my dad can walk me down an aisle and so our families can be a part of this incredible occasion. What I have realized is how much, even after 10 years, my family doesn't know about my faith. There is still so much that is a mystery to them. They have asked me questions here and there, but I don't ever want them to think I am shoving my religion down their throats. It has always been a topic that I don't discuss often unless they ask me questions. I hope that I live my life through example. However, they will all be here in two weeks. They will all see a temple for the first time (with the exception of my dad but he's only seen it once). They will actually come inside and see the foyer and the waiting room. The Rexburg Temple is open and beautiful in the entrance. This is a part of my life that I don't necessarily keep private, but I don't blast it out loud. Now I'm sharing this part of my life with those who are most important to me and I guess you could say that I'm nervous. I want them to feel what I feel when I am there. I want them to want to know more, if only for the fact that I believe so much in my faith, that the sealing ceremony is essential, despite them not being able to be a part of it.

Anyways....that has been on my mind. Ryan and I have both had our Bishop's interviews for our new temple recommends (all members of the Church who wish to perform ordinances in the temple must obtain a recommend to do so by being interviewed by their Bishop to ensure they are living their life according to a certain standard). We are so happy to be able to be sealed for time and all eternity. We have performed sealings by proxy for  many deceased individuals...it is through those experiences that I really understood the promises I am making with him and more importantly, what covenants I'm making with God. I wish this blessing upon everyone. There is nothing like the knowledge of an eternal family.

For all those interested, there is a great and well explained article that is very unbiased explaining temple marriages. You can see it here: What is Temple Marriage?

The LDS faith has been much more out in the open lately due to many things...I hope that through this, people can answer their own questions regarding our faith. The best way to learn about what we believe is to ask someone who believes it and studies it. I have a close friend (well, unfortunately a couple of close friends) who have fallen away from the Church for various reasons. It's interesting to see the pattern that happens. Even in my own past, I have questioned the doctrines of the Gospel. I can assure you....the Gospel is true in it's entirety. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is Christ's church on the Earth today and it is led by a living prophet and apostles. The Gospel is the plan of peace. I have watched as those I love that have fallen away begin their questioning because they first sin. We are all sinners; however, I have realized that sins of morality make us particularly vulnerable to the lies that Satan can weave in our heads. Those sins keep us out of the Temple by jeopardizing our worthiness to enter a holy place such as the Temple. It is then that we can get kicked while we're down. It just makes me sad. It makes me sad to see someone fall into the trap of Satan's lies when they know more. Well, anyways, I feel like I'm rambling now (which I, undoubtedly, am doing).

I love the temple. I love my Savior. I love my family. I love my Ryan. I wish you all to have the opportunity to kneel at an altar with your love and promise to love them forever. I wish you all the opportunity to feel the peace of the temple.

I know, I know. Slacker = me.

Well gosh! It's been a while again. I always have so much to say but then I get to the point where I have TOO much to say and then I decide just to give up and not say it at all because it would be too exhausting to try to remember everything I wanted to say and you'd be stuck reading ridiculously long run-on sentences like this one and I would turn either really red or really blue from talking without taking a breath........

:: GASP ::

Okay, granted, that was all written down, but in my head I was running out of breath. You could hear it in your own head, couldn't you? Well you should have.

A wedding is to be had in 21 days.

TWENTY.
ONE.
DAYS.

HOLY................
(you can choose your favorite word)

Getting married has been the most surreal process for me. Maybe it's because I'm just someone who adapts easily but this is just my life now. I jump up and down sometimes with Ryan in the apartment when we talk about the fact we get to be together forever, or that he doesn't have to go home anymore because he'll just be home, or that we get to do it. I mean, er, um....freak, who the heck am I kidding? I'm totally excited about that. I'm not ashamed. It's not dirty. It's normal! (Sorry, Dad.) We pretty much act married and almost live like we're married (minus the aforementioned) so it will be nice to just BE married.

:: steps onto a soapbox ::

Now is when I would like to advocate the idea of being engaged for 6 months. Ryan and I knew we were going to get married almost right after we started dating. As crazy as it sounds, that's how it rolled out. I just knew. It was weird; however, (and sorry to say this ) that unlike MANY, dare I say, a majority of my fellow college colleagues, we wanted to be together for a solid 9 months before getting hitched. That could include the engagement, but we felt that being in a relationship prior to marriage for that amount of time would give us ample time to get to know one another and to be ready to make an eternal commitment. Our engagement really couldn't have gone better. Bit by bit we have progressed to where we are now, which is perfect for transitioning into being married. We are ready to be married and not just because we want to do it. We have slowly been able to transition into sharing everything (money, food, etc). We have slowly transitioned into spending more and more time together (albeit, we have spent a total of about 7 days away from each other for the last 8 months). We have been able to address situations and really get to know what the other person wants and expects. We have had lots of time to show our true colors. When you are only with someone for four months from date #1 to marriage, I really don't understand how it could be a smooth or easy transition. I know at 3 months, although I was engaged to Ryan, I wasn't ready to be living with him and married yet. Neither was he. I know some things work for some people that don't for others, but for my LDS friends, I would just like to say that now that I have experienced it first hand, I still stand firm in having a relationship between 9 months to a year before you tie the knot. I think it would save so many couples, especially young couples, heartache and questions and arguments. Can you really know someone, I mean, TRULY know someone after 3 months? I didn't even fart in front of Ryan until we'd been together that long (and that's only because he's gross and likes it!) We need time to adjust. That's just how we are as human beings. Now, to you guys who got married quick, I think you know what you're talking about. No marriage is perfect, but I think a lot of misunderstandings can be avoided by giving things time before you are stuck. And to top it all off, for us LDS folk, you are making a covenant to God and with your spouse to be with them FOREVER. Like, eternity. No death to get you out of anything. They will be there waiting for you on the other side if you screw them over. Divorce really shouldn't be an option. Marriage isn't just about being in love, it's about committing yourself to being a team and living your life with your spouse, come hell or high water.

:: steps off ::

Now that I've gotten that off my chest.....

I'm enjoying life. I'm enjoying the idea of marriage and I'm enjoying working part time and allowing myself to slow down for a while. I was struggling to keep up with myself for a while there, and now I can breathe. I've enjoyed traveling and setting up our new apartment. I'm enjoying the freshly washed bedding. It's just nice. I'm trying really hard to take life a day at a time. I think life is easier that way. :)

I wish I had pictures for you, but I don't. Although, soon enough I'll have wedding pictures!!!!

Soapy Cup

So I bought this cup....

and I love it.

But it tastes like soap (which I don't remember using any soap in it thus far....) everytime I get to the bottom of the cup.

Hm....