I haven't been very good about keeping you updated lately....mainly because my laptop has been sick for about three weeks now and I miss it terribly...but I'm getting it fixed for free so I can't complain.
I started back into counseling today. I am seeing a doctoral student named Leah...she is under the supervision of my normal Psychiatrist, Dr. Hilgendorf, but she is MUCH cheaper!!! I have to get these panic attacks and anxiety under control once and for all. It's amazing how ONE thing can have such a huge impact on the rest of the things in your life. And there are two things that seem to put a black cloud on the rest of my life....first, my panic attacks and my anxiety, and second is my weight. I'm working very hard on both and I know that I will acheive my goals in life....some days it's just hard to see through all the mess in front of you.
I'm actually really excited about things right now. I'll be turning 24 in 20 days and excited to start getting school back on track. I've decided after a long hard time of thinking, praying, fasting etc that doing the online thing for school is what I feel the best about. The idea of becoming a student full time again and going to classes and spending all day in the library and blah blah blah just doesn't sit well with me. I never really enjoyed that in high school anyways...what does excite me is learning at my own pace (which tends to be much faster than others' sometimes) and sitting in my sweats after a hard, rewarding day at work and working on obtaining a degree in something that will benefit me. Music and cooking are abilities that I can expand on without going to college....however, business and all that jazz are things that would be beneficial to study and obtain a degree in. I believe, well actually I almost know that I'm working at Canal Overlook again for a reason...there was no coinsidence involved with me ending up back there. And truthfully, I enjoy it. It's hard work and a LOT of work...but it's challenging and rewarding.
I have some really exciting news to update you on as well!!! Long story short, after my mom died over 10 years ago, I completely lost touch with everyone in her family...and I have a HUGE family on my mom's side. I probably have 30 cousins that are all within 5-10 years of my age. We used to have these HUGE family get togethers for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas on my Aunt Edith's farm in southern indiana and play together on the hay barrells and eat lots of yummy homemade food. For the past ten years I have missed them so much but never knew how to get in touch with them. Last fall, I found out that my mom's cousin, Penny, had passed away....although very sad, her obituary led me to some of my long lost relatives and I was able to locate their addresses and wrote them a letter. I recieved a Christmas Card from a great uncle and his wife and last week one of my cousins called!!!! I got together with her and her husband and daughter at the Children's Museum last night and spent some time with her. I also talked to her brother today on the phone. I am SO excited to start "re meeting" all of them and having them as a part of my life again. It's just like this void that has been there for the past decade is starting to be filled again! TOO AWESOME!
Okay, it's late and I should go to bed. I'll try to be better about keeping you posted...but in the meantime, peace OUT!
love,
court
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