Babies and Temples

For the record...I am NOT pregnant. It seems that all of my best friends are....but I am not. I am not even married...or close to being married for that matter. I'm not bitter. Just feel like I'm in last place sometimes. But as I said last night, I'm just running a different race I guess. It is strange...being in my mid twenties and having a majority of my closest friends (that are close to my age) married, having babies or on the verge of marriage. I'm still standing on my own in my singledom and fabulousness. I've thought a lot about it...emotionally I could get married tomorrow if given the opportunity, but physically I know I'm not ready. If that doesn't make sense to you...asking yourself "How is one physically ready to be in a relationship?" then I guess my best answer is being ready to be touched. Being ready to be physically comfortable in the relationship is a bigger part of it than a lot of realize. That underlying attraction is what can pull us closer together or keep us at an arm's length. Right now, an arms length is where I'm at and where I'm staying for a while. I want to be able to give someone all of me without holding back or being self conscious at all. That is going to take some time.

I had a thought this morning while I was straightening my hair pondering my life. And the thought occurred to me that before this life, in our premortal existence, I believe that we were prepared for and even accepting of the challenges we would face in this life. We knew what we were getting ourselves into. Even those who are handicapped mentally or physically...they are among the Lord's most choice servants because they accepted to live mortality in a much more challenging way than the rest of us. I felt a bit of that when I first being introduced to the Gospel and when I was baptized. I felt very strongly that Aubri and I were friends in the pre-mortal existence and that we made a pact to find each other in mortality. I knew that I was going to be born into a family that didn't have the Gospel...and I accepted the challenges that I have been faced with in this life. I knew that I would have to search for the Gospel...but once I found it, it would feel like home. I'm happy to report that I did, in fact, find my way back. And I'm working everyday on making my way home. It's hard sometimes, even though its such a huge part of our lives to live the Gospel, that there really is more to this life than what we see on the surface. We lived before this life and we will live on after it....

On another similar note, I am happy to report that I am making my journey to entering the temple to receive my endowments. I have been praying, pondering and fasting about this for quite some time now...and the Lord and I are on the same page. It's all about progressing...and that's what I'm working on. (If you're reading this and am thinking "what the heck is she talking about?", you can learn more about my beliefs and the temple at www.mormon.org.)

I know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the Gospel of miracles. I love it with all of my heart. ♥ ♥ ♥

I had a great time babysitting my most adorable niece and nephew last night. My little babies are growing up so fast!! I wish I had a camera so I could take pictures for you. All in due time. I'm working on purchasing a camera soon. My dad told me he was buying me one...but that was like 7 months ago....so I'm not expecting anything.

I had a great time talking to one of my favorites on the phone last night again. I truly enjoy all interaction with him. Before you go rushing off with thoughts...we are just friends. Good friends. And I'll keep it at that.

Quinn is a daddy now. I couldn't be happier for him. I can't believe it!!! But he will make the most amazing father. That I'm sure of.

That's my update :)

Happy Sabbath!

♥ Courtney