We get so wrapped up in it. It engulfs our every thought, our every move, our every word. Love is undoubtedly the single strongest emotion created. We feel it in every fiber. It causes pain and joy to our maximum level of feeling. We hope for it. We long for it. We strive for it. All in all, it is our very motivation for living.
We just want to love and be loved in return.
Hundreds and thousands of songs have been sung about love. What is it about this that moves us so? Why do we lose sleep...countless hours of precious sleep, over our pain and misery due to love? We can experience the most intense sense of joy and happiness when our love is validated...but the moment we question love's allegiance we are capable of disabling grief, fear, or pain.
We just want to love and be loved in return.
Something in our minds make us tick a certain way, towards a certain person. We're not all compatible with one another. If you have read any of my entries about love and relationships, you'll know that I am fascinated by our attractions to others. What makes us attracted to a certain type of person? Why does "like" tend to stay with "like". In school, many labels are placed on individuals....jock, prep, punk, emo, alternative, nerd, geek....and although the lines might be more blurred by age and time, we are still those labels. As a whole, we tend to still run with our own type...and date our own type...and eventually marry our own type.
So I guess my frustration lies in the fact that I never really fit a "type". I guess I was always well known...many considered me "popular" by definition. I have a demanding personality...of this I am all too aware. But I never felt like I really fit in with the "popular" kids...even though I was one of them. I never fit their stereotypes. I wasn't a bitch or super beautiful. I was smart, funny, and nice to people. I loved sports and wanted to be involved in as much as possible. I was somewhat of a social overachiever...not so much academically.
So back to the topic at hand. We just want to love and be loved in return.
It is in our very nature, our very soul to have the desire to love someone. And more importantly, we spend our whole lives searching and longing to be loved in return. We spend hours of time and gobs of money on being the very person we think someone else will want. I guess in the eternal perspective, we are trying to find that person who can tolerate us forever and ever. Someone that we don't get so bored with that we seek elsewhere. Can you imagine the thought of finding someone that not only wants to be with you for eternity, but that you actually want to be with them too? What a miracle that is!!! I am the type of person that feels so deeply. I get so caught up in analyzing everything that letting things happen is almost impossible. Maybe that's the key...find someone you can love forever without smothering them. Find someone you love so much that you want to wake up next to them every morning and go to bed next to them every night...but that you also want to trust enough to let them have their own space.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this....
Love is like crack and I don't understand it one bit.
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