So normally I am a bit of a neat freak when it comes to having my apartment clean and orderly. I don't like dirty dishes in the sink, I enjoy my bed to be made, I like my desk to be organized, the fridge stocked and organized, and the couch cleaned off. However, lately, I have let my apartment become a bit disorganized, and even a little.....messy! I have been pretty on-the-go a lot but that really is no excuse. I've had the time...I just have wasted that time doing other things that seem to take precedence.
I have been keeping up with work and such...going to my church meetings as I should...but I just haven't been spending as much time doing things around the house to stay organized. I need to be better about that.
Life is a balancing act and I'm afraid I'm still learning how to balance it all. I am sure it's a life long process. There are times where I enjoy being at home all weekend with nothing to do or people to see. I really need to get on the ball though. It's a bit discouraging perhaps that I am unmotivated to do some things that are normally second nature to me.
I am still excited about getting out to school but right now I have other things to focus on that will aid in my getting out there. First and foremost, I am moving temporarily (for five or so months until I move out to Idaho) and someone is subletting my apartment. I am really feeling the sting of being in debt right now. Hopefully that is something I can work on over the next few months. I really should look into getting a part time job. I wish I had someone who would tell me exactly how to spend my money....because honestly, I'm not so great at it. I need someone to teach me. I am looking to the relief of student loans to help alleviate so of my "debt" but all in all, I'm just transferring that debt to another form of debt. Other than finding a place to live for free and selling my car, I'm just not sure how else to get it all paid off. It's going to be a process...and it's going to take time. I have be patient with it. Moving will definitely relieve some financial stress. It seems that managing my finances is one of my biggest trials. I am just very un-gifted at it....out of all my many gifts...that one is one I unfortunately lack...but have a strong desire to improve. I have faith that some day my debts will be paid off by my hard work and diligence. It's just going to take some time....
Time is something that the world seems to never have enough of. We spend so much of our lives working to make money to pay bills. Who the heck came up with this!? That's what I want to know. Time and money are the two things that separate the classes of society amongst other things. Those with more money seem to have more time....and those will less money seem to have less time. I fear I'll never be someone who can make a big enough difference in the world to ease the burdens of the poor in order to effect change, but I seem to be so torn on my opinions about the poor. Many individuals who are poverty stricken are those who have never risen above and beyond to maximize their potential. Some are not able to while others simply choose not to. There are cultures that are stereotyped for being poor and unclean. Those people who have risen above the stereotype of their culture seem to be even more successful because of the trials they had to overcome. For us simple white folk, we supposedly have it made. We are not judged by society by the color of our skin and seem to have all good things pointing towards our culture. However, hiding behind the appearances of a middle class society is rising debt, mortgage foreclosures and irresponsibility. It is simply a facade. I long for a day where I am not in debt and not only am I free from debt, but able to enjoy time and money for their value. Who knows if that will ever happen....but I have faith that if I keep my nose to the grind, it can and will happen.
I'm not quite sure what caused my tangent regarding debt...but I know it's something that has been on my mind. The fact that my wallet is empty is something that causes me to feel a little down on myself. In return, I feel unmotivated to clean.
I guess there's my answer.
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