Being me.

Oh hello. It has been quite some time. I'm pretty sure I start every entry off in this manner nowadays.

I'm back in Indiana for a few weeks as I am on a break from school. You know what I have decided? I'm not sure what my purpose is with this blog. Do I want to use it for blabbing on about my life, or do I want to discuss things that I don't understand or things that are important to me? Or can I do both? Either way, when I have a break from school it seems that I find myself trying to regroup and get back to who I want to be and on that list, I would like to say that I am a good writer. However, in order to do so, I should probably write.

Alas. I write.

As previously mentioned, I am back in my home state. Hoosier country. Can I be blunt? I was looking forward to coming home until my hair started to frizz and I realized that Rexburg had somehow captured a place in my heart. I often feel so torn when I come home. This time is no different. And I still cannot decide how I feel about one place or the other. So until I figure that out, I shall remain confused.

It is nice to be with family and it is nice to see old friends and play around in the city a bit. I babysat Allyson and Hunter last week for a few days. Holy selflessness batman. That's probably the biggest dose of motherhood I have ever had and I must say, wow. I commend all mothers out there. Especially single mothers or mothers who have husbands who are away a lot. I'm staying with my sister, Jennifer while I'm in town. Jen and I have never been super tight so I'm glad to have the chance to stay here. She's nine years older than me and unlike Jaime and I, we were never forced to bond. Jaime and I shared a room growing up at my dad's house when I would come over to visit, so inevitably, we became close as time went on. The kids are at day care all day, and Jen and Chris are at work, so I'm just all by my lonesome until I find some sort of shennanigans to get myself into. The weather has been less than desirable for tanning purposes, but I'll deal with it.

Over the past few weeks/months I have been inconsistent with my desire to be more healthy. It comes and goes and I teeter-totter back and forth. There are so many aspects of my life that are working in the direction I want them to, yet I still struggle with this one area. I constantly push myself to be better, as I believe we all should, yet sometimes I have to accept defeat and start over again the next day. I know we all do it. Have you ever wanted something so bad but you feel no matter what you do, it's out of reach? Now, I'm not saying that I'm giving up on anything, but man oh man, I have my work cut out for me.

I feel like I'm very diverse in my topic choices today. So I apologize for that. :)

I sang last night for the first time since school. I performed up at Morty's Comedy Club on the north side of Indy. Got 2nd place in a talent competition. I was beat by an old man in a wheelchair doing "sit down" comedy. My dad reminded me that someone in a wheelchair isn't really capable of stand-up comedy. It made me laugh. He was a funny old man, that's for sure. And I definitely am not in the Mormon bubble anymore. HA! I heard more swear words last night in 2 hours than I've heard in the last 1.5 years. One aspect of my life that I'm happy to be grounded in is music. It just fits.

Which reminds me, if you haven't seen it on facebook or youtube, I competed in a campus wide singing competition at school and I WON. Here is a video of my last performance. Enjoy! :)



Peace and happiness to you all. ♥
Court